The Life and Lies of Lily and James Potter
by amnazing
Summary: Lily Evans by no means perfect. But everyone thinks that she is. Who wouldn't? She has good grades, she's a prefect, and she has the nerve to stand up to James Potter, but is that what she really wants?
1. Chapter 1

**Okies, so I started a new story and with this one I actually plan to go farther than chapter 1. Yes I know a HUGE accomplishment. Remember my kiddies…R&R!!**

**Chapter 1: **

"_She's somewhere in the sunlight, strong, her tears are in the falling rain. She calls me in the wind's soft song and with the flowers she comes again." (The Poet Sings)_

"Lily, hurry up! You'll miss the train!"

I stared at my room for the last time until next summer. I wanted to remember every detail, the way it was. Tuney was sleeping, as usual.

"Bye Tuney…"

No answer

"Tuney? Aren't you going to miss me?"

"Why would I miss a freak like you, Witch?"

Ouch, that stung, but I had a feeling that this quarreling would not stop anytime soon.

"LILY!!"

"I'm coming, Dad!"

I ran down the stairs, nearly tripping myself, and out the door. Dad was waiting for in the car. I got in the car and Dad drove away. I watched as the houses of my neighborhood flew by. I was off to Hogwarts; a school of witchcraft and wizardry. I, Lily Evans, was going to learn magic! A world that existed within another one that we all wish could be real. I had seen it. I had been to Diagon Ally. Professor Dumbledore told me EVERYTHING. The houses of Hogwarts to the classes I would have and friends I would meet. He even told me that there's even a secret platform in between platform 9 and 10. This was the day that everything would change for me. No more having to take care of my father and my sister. I was not the Mom anymore.

Mom, what would you think of me now? Would you be proud of me, like Dad? Or pretend that I didn't exist like, 13 year-old Petunia? And all of the freaky kids on my street, like that Remus that was always sick. Adios! I won't be seeing you anymore! No more mourning aver my best friend that had moved away three years ago, it wouldn't matter anymore. I would make new friends.

But, I would miss Dad. As much as Dad had changed. I still loved him, Mom can leave him, destroy him. But I will still love him even more. It doesn't matter if he cries almost every night. Hoping. Praying. That maybe Mom is still alive. Maybe.

"Dad, I love you."

"I know, Lily"

"Dad"

"Yes?"

"Take care of yourself, Dad. Don't do anything stupid Dad."

"I won't"

"Promise me, Dad. Pinky promise me." I was crying now. "I don't have to go, Dad. Just say the word and I'll stay.

"Don't be silly, Honey. I'll be fine. Go, Have fun. He smiled but I saw through it. His eyes were watering, he was going to cry.

"Dad, I'm not going. I can't leave you."

"Lily," he was more collected now. "Enough, you're going."

We were at King's Cross station now. Dad got out and I followed. We got inside and I walked up to Platform 9 ¾.

"Remember the running start." Dad reminded me

"I know."

"Remember to write."

"I will."

It was five minutes to eleven now. I hugged my Dad.

"I have to go now, Dad." He had practically cut off my circulation

"Right, have fin Lils." He was actually crying now. If this had happened any old day I would have been embarrassed, but today I was crying too.

"Love you Dad. Bye." I couldn't take it. I ran through the wall and into Platform 9 ¾ a shining black train stood in front of me; embedded with the title The Hogwarts Express. Pushed my cart forward and on to the train. I found my own compartment, sat down and immediately started to read my all time favorite book, _Pride and Prejudice _by Jane Austen. Books are my only friends.

"Hey move it!!"

"No, I was here first!!"

sigh I hate it when people disturb me when I'm reading, it's the worst thing that you can do to Lily Evans, especially now. I got up and opened the compartment door. There I stood face to face with my old best friend; James Potter

**Author's Note:**

**Oh la la **

**Lily already knew James?! GASP!!**

**I really need feedback guys… is this story worth continuing or not…really I want criticism**. **Should I really start from the moment Lily goes to Hogwarts or skip to her say fifth or sixth year? R&R guys!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

**Chapter 2:**

_"The loneliness and misery are silenced by a melody. She's somewhere and I hear her sing, her words in timeless memory. Stay the course, light a star, change the world where'er you are."_

He hadn't changed. He was the same James Potter as I had remembered him. His hair was still a mess from running his hair through it when he was nervous. He wore the same glasses. He looked at me for about a second, but then continued to walk away with the guy he had been fighting with thirty seconds ago. He didn't recognize me, he would have said something. I slowly turned around.

"LILY EVANS!! Is that you?!" that was followed by me being tackled by none other than Cassandra Potter, James' cousin.

"Hey Cassandra." I peered over her shoulder to see James staring at me. He quickly looked away.

"OMG, James!! Can you believe it? Lily's a witch!!"

"Yea, that's great." Turning to his friend, "Let's go Sirius." He left with the other boy. I stared, my bestest friend just walked away from me. I could not believe it. I hadn't even noticed that Cassandra had dragged me back into the comfort of my compartment. I had not noticed the tears in my eyes. That was for the second time that day. I needed to collect myself.

"Stupid bastard, sorry Lil, but James has…well…changed, he seems to think that he's above everyone else. Don't worry about him." She really felt bad for me. "But, hey!! We can be friends right?" She looked like her normal cheerful self again. She held out her hand for me to shake.

"Friends?"

"Friends." I shook her hand. Right then someone knocked on the, ruining our wonderful moment. A short girl with shoulder length curly hair walked in, another with also short but straight, brown hair.

"Umm… can we sit here??" Curly asked,

.

"Of course!" Cassandra jumped up. Both girls seemed shocked that she was so energetic, but they sat down, and then there was silence

An awkward silence, the kind where everyone just sits and stares at one another.

"Umm… I'm Alice Walker and this is my sister, Rachel."

Cassandra fighting the urge to talk blurted out, "Oh hi!! I'm Cassandra Potter, but you can call me Cassie and this is Lily, but she doesn't have a nickname-"

"You're a Potter?!" it was Rachel's turn to speak

"Yes, she's a Potter. What difference does it make?" Now everyone stared at me, apparently it makes a big difference.

"You see, Lily. The Potters are a pure blood family; we're one of the few left. We're different only because we are pure blood Gryffindors. Forgive Lily, she's a muggleborn.'

Oh. So the Potters were a "big" family. Well that explained James' big headedness…

**James' POV**

She was here. On the train. So many times I had planned to meet up with her again, all of those dreams. But it didn't happen the way I wanted, she had caught me off guard, but I should have known. She was Lily; she always found the right way to spoil everything.

"When do you think he'll be back?" Remus inquired.

I jerked up, "Who?" I looked around, oh, Sirius was missing again. In his place was this other kid that looked a bit too much like a mouse. I looked at him, "What's your name?" He jumped, squeaking.

"Peter, Peter Pettigrew," he squeaked, wow, he even talked like a mouse. I leaned back, resuming my previous position. Right then, I heard a huge crash and a high pitched scream. Sirius Black came charging into our compartment laughing so hard it was a surprise that he could walk.

"That'll show you never mess with Sirius Black, Snivellus!!" Then to us, "he screams like a girl." He sat down; practically squishing Peter, the only thing that stopped him was another squeak that erupted from him.

"Oh, sorry mate. So that Snivellus kid thought it would be funny to trip me and I said that I kill him even if he tried, and well I killed him."

Peter looked on with horror "You killed him?"

"No, Peter." Said Remus, sighing, "He beat him up. Even Sirius Black wouldn't kill any one."

"Not true!! I just figured that I had seven years, why not make it slow and painful?!" he slapped Remus, Peter, and I a high five. I had a feeling that this was the start of a beautiful friendship…

_**Yay!! Chapter 2 is finished!! pats herself on the back I know we haven't really gotten anywhere, but we will. I promise. Remember everyone R&R!! I shall be waiting**_

_**Oh and a side note, I might not be able to update for a while, this is the time of year where things get really hectic… sorry!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_"Somewhere the night wind carries het, a silver moon beam lights her way. Antares is her messenger and every sun and moon her stay."_

Lily's POV

That was four years ago.

Now, yet again, I stood on Platform 9 ¾ ready to get on the Hogwarts express for my fifth year at Hogwarts. I was not crying, Lily Evans does not cry. There is no reason to cry. The wind blew causing my auburn hair to fly across my face. This year was going to be different, I could feel it.

Someone bumped in to me; I turned around to find none other than Sirius Black behind me.

"Oi! Evans!" Uh oh, Sirius was here, that meant that his little posse was not far behind. Actually they were right behind him, giving him different looks. Peter still seemed to be registering the fact that I was there, Remus seemed to shaking his head, he did that a lot, and James did not even seem to register that Sirius had bumped into me he was just staring at me, it was quite uncomfortable.

"Hello Black, Potter, Pettigrew, and Remus." I smiled at Remus. Remus was the only Marauder I liked; he listened to everything that _I _had to say and he was actually smart. Sirius Black was the heart throb of Hogwarts every girl swooned over him except for Cassie and me of course. And Peter Pettigrew, well, there is not much to say about him. He just exists, I guess. And lastly there was James Potter. His hair, messy as usual and he was nervous.

Crap, that could only mean…

"Hey Evans-"

"No Potter." I turned around and walked away.

"You don't even know wh-"

"Yes I do, NO Potter."

"But why?"

I took a deep breath "Because you're arrogant, obnoxious, selfish, spoiled, and an annoying git." I got on to the train leaving him yet again with that dumbfounded look. I finally found Cassie and she tackled me with another hug.

'Lily, OMG. I was stuck with James and Black all summer." She had let her black hair grow so it was now a little past her shoulders. She had gotten tanner; she had probably been tanning all summer. She had spent her entire summer at a beach house. Cassie Potter was a female version of James Potter; same color hair, eyes, and skin. The only weird thing is that they're only cousins. Every guy crushed in her. I mean everyone! Well, everyone except for the Marauders. Potter is her cousin and Cassandra hates Sirius with a passion. And Remus and Peter are not her type.

"What did you do, Lily?"

"Nothing special, Tuney has a new boyfriend and he's all I saw all summer."

"Oh, really? What's his name?"

"Vernon Dursley, he looks like a walrus." This caused Cassie to snort

"A walrus? At least it's better than the other boyfriend that you said looked like a parrot." We had reached out compartment and I reunited with Alice and Rachel. I sat next to Alice in time to hear her giggling.

"What happened?" Alice always giggles, but this giggle was more of a flirty giggle.

"There's a new guy here."

"And?'

"His name is Frank Longbottom."

"And your point is…"

"Well, he's a bit…"

"Hot?"

"Handsome?"

"Cute?"

"No… he's nice…" Alice responded, her cheeks were turning red. She sighed.

"Alice, have you even talked to him yet?"

"Umm…no, but I will."

"I think that Alice and Frank would look cute together. Ignore Lily, she only believes in getting to know a person before you love them. Love at first sight is too much like a fairy tale for Lily." Cassandra said, "Don't worry Lils, we still love you."

"Love you too," I mumbled, "I can't help it if I don't want have my heart broken."

"Awwww, poor Lily can't stand to have her heart broken."

"Cassie, has it ever occurred to you that maybe there's a reason that I don't date you cousin?"

"Because you think he'll break your heart? You under estimate him, he's not as bad as looks."

"The day I go on a date with James Potter will be the day that you snog Black, I do not like James Potter.

She winced, "Sheesh, Sorry. Point taken."

James' POV

There he was, oblivious as usual; you'd think that after five years he'd have us figured out. But he did not, that was probably the reason that he was in Slytherin. No, this was too easy. I walked away, I would get him again. _Just wait Snivellus; I'll come back for you_. Now as I walked towards our compartment. I thought about how much Lily hated it whenever I prank Snape. Was that what had stopped me? She did not realize how much she influenced me. How much I thought about her everyday, how much it hurt when she said no to me.

The train ride was almost over. Everyone was changed and getting ready to get off of the train. I ran into our compartment to get my stuff just in time to be knocked into Sirius when the train stopped.

"Where's Moony?" I asked.

"Prefect duty, did you know that Lily's a prefect too Prongs?" Sirius asked as he headed out the door.

No, I did not know, if I had acted human around her, maybe she would have told me herself. I headed out the door into Hogsmeade for yet another year.

Lily's POV

I got off of the train, it was nice to be back. After three months of Tuney it was nice to be home. Then out of no where Professor McGonagall was walking towards me. She had the usual stern look on her face. But I had not done anything wrong,

"Miss Evans, the Headmaster would like a word with you."

**giggle giggle ** **another cliffy. I don't like this chapter very much, but I had to get the character descriptions and such out of the way**

**Remember my kiddies! R&R!!**

**amnazing**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

**Chapter 4:**

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and I, sadly, do not own Harry Potter**

"_Dark voices from the shadows call, but listen and her voice recall. Moriah, Moriah. Stay the course, light a star, change the world where'er you are." (The Poet Sings)_

Lily's POV

I sat in a chair in front of Professor Dumbledore's desk. He was smiling as he always did, but I had a suspicion that this was not a happy visit.

"Good evening Miss Evans," he began.

"Good evening, Headmaster."

"How was your train ride here?"

"Fine, Professor."

Miss Evans, what I'm about to tell you should remain confidential, no on should know what went on in this office. No one should not know what went on in this office, am I clear?" his smile was gone. He gave me a stern look, and I nodded.

"Good, have you heard of the Dark Lord, Miss Evans?"

Of course I had heard of the Dark Lord, who hadn't?

"Yes I have, Professor, but what does he have to do with me?"

"You have a father and a sister, am I correct?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Your sister, was she home when you left for Hogwarts?"

'No, Professor, she was with her boyfriend the whole day," I replied.

"Your father?"

"He was- at home." I could not tell him about Dad, not now. I would start crying. _Lily Evans does not cry_, my mind whispered.

"Your father. Miss Evans- may I call you Lily?"

"Of course, Professor! What about my father?"

"Lily, your father was found dead this afternoon."

I froze. No. He's not dead.

"He was murdered, Lily, by Lord Voldermort. We have reason to believe that Lord Voldermort is looking for you."

I couldn't move.

My dad was dead and the Dark Lord was after me…

James POV

I was running, I was late… again. She would be mad. _Run faster, James! _I picked up my pace and ran over to our favorite tree. About fifteen feet up, there was that tree Dad had made three years ago. I quickly climbed up the ladder, and there she was. Red hair and green eyes, who could miss her? But today Lily was crying. As soon as she saw me she ran over and hugged me; sobbing.

"Don't leave, Jamsie. Please," she willed, but she knew, I knew, we both knew that I had to leave, and that I would not return.

"C'mon, Lily, don't make my last memory of you make me cry." She pulled back and touched my cheek, tears glistened on her hand.

"You're crying, too," she whispered, and then said, "You're right, lets do something." I smiled at her and then turned to leave. This place, these walls, the floors, the ceiling; held as many memories to last a lifetime. I won't forget them, I can't forget them. I squeezed Lily's hand and we left.

I stared at the fireplace; that memory etched all over my mind. _It was for her own good_, my mind said_. But what good did it do? _The other side said, _she's at Hogwarts, she's a witch, and she shouldn't be here. Nothing can change it no, she's here and she's staying. _

"Hey Jamsie, "my head snapped up, expectin an eight year old Lily. Instead I saw a blonde girl, with blue eyes and way too much makeup on.

"Hey Jess," I answered, gruffly.

"What's wrong, Jamsie? Are you hurt? Want me to make it feel all better?" She smiled. How long had we been going out? Five hours? Six?

"No! I don't want you to fix it!" I was yelling, the whole common room stared. I turned to walk away, but then turned around. Jess looked terrified. "Never call me Jamsie again," I said calmly and walked out of the common room.

Lily POV

I walked out of Dumbledore's office still sniffling. _You need to stop. Lily, _I scolded my self, _No one can know, remember?_ I slipped into Myrtle's bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. That summer, I would live in the United States with Aunt Marlene; my mom's only sister, Dad had no siblings. The only thing was that I would not come back until seventh year. I would miss a year of school, just because of Him. I stared at my face in the mirror and put on my perfect smile.

_How are people fooled by that smile? _

_Everyone thinks that Lily Evans doesn't have any problems…she's perfect._

_But she's not, _my head whispered.

I left the bathroom and headed towards the common room,

As I rounded the corner I smashed into something hard and it was muttering.

"BLACK!! AGAIN!!" he hadn't even noticed that I had bumped into him.

"Oh, Evans, have you seen Prongs? I was making out with Caroline when I noticed that he had left."

"Ummmm no, Black. There isn't a Caroline in our house. Do you mean Katie?"

"Oh, that's what her name was…"

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" I inquired.

"Oh, Jennifer? That Hufflepuff girl?" he grinned, "Yup!" and started walking away. He was muttering about not finding some sort of map.

"BLACK!!" I sceamed, "Her name is Jamie!"

He probably had not even heard me. I headed into the common room and into the dormitory.

"LILY!!" Alice practically jumped on me.

Wait-Alice?

"You'll never believe it!! Frank Longbottom waved and smiled at me!" she squealed.

"That's great, Alice."

She sighed, "This day was perfect." She climbed into bed. "Don't you agree?" I climbed in too, not bothering to change my clothes.

"Yup." Cassie piped.

"Sure." half asleep Rachel said.

"Yes, I agree," I said.

As I drifted to sleep, my mind was still whispering again and again

Singing

Taunting

_You're not perfect, Lily Evans, You're not perfect._

**Authors note:**

**Hey guys!!**

**Sorry for taking a while to update, I've been so busy with school now a days, finals are approaching very quickly…and I'm not ready!! AHHHHHH!!**

**So, I really need you to review guys!! Am I doing a good job? You don't have to be all nice about it, just tell me what you think**

**I won't kill you**

**I hope P**

**JK!!**

**Come on!! I won't take that long!!**

**Review**

**Review**

**Review**

**amnazing**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"_Far away, in a far off land, lives a girl who loves to sing. She opens up her heart, and her song, it take wing." (She Sings)_

Lily POV

I was in a forest, and there was something that made butterflies fly in my stomach. There was a boy; he was crouching behind a bush.

"James?"

"SHHH!!" he motioned for me to come over, I quietly crept up next to him. "She's almost here." There was excitement in his voice, I love it when he's excited, there's that smile on his face that nothing can arouse except the joy that James Potter has in pulling a prank. I peeked over the bush, and there she was. Tuney was walking down the street with her friends. I showed James a thumbs up, she was heading right towards it. She could never find out that we were going to plan another prank, she was so oblivious. A little more, Tuney, come on. She was getting really close now, I hid behind the bush in case she noticed my bright red hair against the dark green bush, and I did not have to see it to hear the scream. It was so high that I had to cover my ears. I peaked over the bush and my older sister was hanging up side down, her ankle tied to a single, tread of string. I looked over at James, he looked thrilled. His hair was messier than usual, as though his brain commanded it to get messier and messier as he got excited or nervous. He took out his scissors and cut the string and Tuney fell on to the ground. She jumped up,

"LILY EVANS AND JAMES POTTER!! I WILL KILL YOU!!" I had made the mistake of looking up, because she saw us. I looked at James and we started running for our lives. We ran and ran until we were positive that we had lost Tuney.

I looked around to see where we were now; it looked like some sort of pasture.

"James, where are we?" No answer, "James?"

"Over here," he said, he was lying down in the grass and staring at the clouds. "Remember, Lily? When we were little we would look at the clouds and tell each other what they looked like?" I remembered, that was a lot of fun. I laid down near James.

"Hey James?"

"Yes?"

"That cloud looks like a tree."

"Does not!! It looks more like a sea horse to me!!"

"LILY!!" Cassie was waking me up. I shot up; I hadn't had a dream about James in forever. She was looking at me like I was mad.

"What?"

"You were talking in your sleep…" Wonderful, and looked around and noticed that no one was in the dorm anymore. I had slept in, that was unusual. "You were talking about really random stuff, like sea horses and forests. It was weird, and then you said James, and you kept on saying it. Lily, you said that you were over him, that you weren't going to worry about him. What happened?"

"I don't know, it just happened. I wasn't even thinking about him. Cassie what's wrong with me? This year is going to be terrible, I can feel it."

"Oh Lily!!" she gave me a hug. I could not help it anymore, I started crying.

James POV

I had a huge headache, it hurt to do anything. Getting out of bed alone was a challenge. Yet here I was in the main hall eating, or trying to anyway. At the moment I was staring at my food like it was going to feed me itself. Remus sat down across from me; he looked at me for a while and then said,

"What's wrong?"

"Terrible headache." That was all I could say, I could not talk. It hurt.

"Now you know what it feels like," he whispered. He looked up, he was looking at something behind me. He pointed, "What happened to Lily?"

I turned around, Cassie was walking with a red eyed Lily, in to the dining hall. She had obviously been crying. Lily Evans never cried, that was something that even I had never ever seen. What could have possibly happened? _Why would she tell you?_ She wouldn't. Lily Evans never says anything to you anymore. Well, not anything that was what the old Lily would have said. _She doesn't like you anymore. She's moved on, why can't you? She doesn't love you; she doesn't care how much you hurt when she rejects you. Why can't you get over her? _

Because no matter what happens, Lily will always be my best friend, nothing can change that…

**AWWWWW!! Yes I know, not much in this chapter, but the next one will be longer and more eventful I promise!! In the meantime keep on reviewing!!**

**They are all appreciated!!**

**amnazing**


	6. Chapter 6

"On the grass, on the cool green grass that was hers since she could run, she lies with hair open like a fan in the warmth of

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I own the plot. So there.

"_On the grass, on the cool green grass that was hers since she could run, she lies with hair open like a fan in the warmth of summer sun. She sings." (She Sings)_

Chapter 6

Lily POV

I was alone, no one would hear me if I spoke. I knew it, they all thought that I was studying, but even I need a break. Slughorn would not care if I didn't hand in an essay one day. I might get death glares from the people in my class, but it would not matter. I am Slughorn's favorite student. It won't hurt to blow off an essay for once; they can't always expect Lily Evans to be perfect. She's far from perfect, and its rime that people realized it. Her parents are dead and she can't even tell anyone. No one can comfort her, for the first time in her entire life, Lily Evans was completely alone. All she felt like was crying, but her friends had all thought that it was from her nightmare. _No, it's from the nightmare that I live everyday, the night mare that won't leave me._ But something about that dream made me think about why I hadn't told anyone. That's what I would have done, if I had been seven or eight. I would have told someone.

_Who Lily, who?_ I would have told James, James bloody Potter would have been the first person that I would have told and he would have told me everything too. I hadn't even noticed the tears that had started to fall. I had no idea on how long I had been out here, it was past nightfall and I had gotten out after dinner. They were probably wondering where I was, what I was doing. _Oh, I was doing homework, _I would answer sweetly, _don't tell me that you forgot about that potions essay that's due tomorrow._

"Aren't you supposed to be doing homework?" I jumped, and quickly wiped my tears. "Lily, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, Remus," I managed to say normally. He sat down next to me looking at me in disbelief.

"Lily, you know that I don't fall for that. I'm not that stupid," he replied.

"Then tell me, what do you think is wrong with me?" 

"I don't know, it looks like someone you know died," he said. Only Remus Lupin would be the person that would guess exactly what had happened to me. He knew me better than anyone else, but should he know that? Should I tell him even though I was told not to? I can't even last an hour without thinking about crying. What would Dumbledore do if I told Remus? _Lily, if he doesn't know then who will? _That is true, so I told him everything, and he listened. Just like the wonderful little Remus he was. He never interrupted me or made faces, he just listened and that was all that I needed. When I was done I told him about my dream, how in almost five years I had had a dream of James Potter. That's the great thing about Remus, you can tell him anything and he won't tell a soul.

I finished, and he sat there, not saying a word.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Why would I tell anyone? You kept my secret and I'll keep yours."

"Thanks Remus," I hugged him and he hugged me back.

James POV

I needed to practice quidditch I had only played with Sirius all summer and that was it. That's not enough; I walked outside and got onto my broom. There is absolutely nothing more thrilling then being able to ride on a broom. You feel so carefree, with not but a care in the world. I raised high enough to see the grounds, the leaves had started changing colors, the arrays of reds, oranges, and yellows had made their mark. It looked as perfect as a painting.

Right then I noticed that there were two people sitting on benches next to the lake, the red head was unmistakable; that was Lily Evans, but there was someone else. After squinting and going a bit lower I realized that it was none other than Remus Lupin. This wasn't a surprise, Lily and Remus talked all of the time, but Remus usually dominated the conversations. Today it seemed, by the way that she was moving her hands, that it was Lily who was dominating the conversation and Remus was just listening. She looked so upset, I landed in the cluster of trees right next to them just in time to hear Remus say;

"Why would I tell anyone? You kept my secret and I'll keep yours."

"Thanks Remus," Lily hugged him and he hugged her back.

Lily POV

I woke up refreshed for one of the first times since I had arrived to Hogwarts this year. I felt as though this was my first day at Hogwarts. I got dressed and even put on a bit of makeup and even though they were pleased, my friends could not help but stare.

"What?" they jumped as though they had thought that I hadn't noticed them staring. Cassie was the first person to recover,

"Nothing, Lils. It's just that you look so cheery today and, well, that's the first time this whole year. It seems as though you're blocking us."

"I am **not **ignoring you, if that's what you mean. I just got off on the wrong foot, that's all. But that's going to change, I promise. Okay?" They all hugged me, and filled me in on what was going on. Alice was on a quest to get Frank Longbottom to ask her to Hogsmeade next weekend and Cassie wanted to try not to get a date, but we all knew that she would. Rachel meanwhile has had her eye in Remus for quite a while, we were planning to "accompany" Remus and Pettigrew at Hogsmeade seeing as Potter and Black probably already have dates. We headed down to the great hall linking arms, for a moment we had not but a care in the world, and it felt amazing. Even as we entered the Great Hall, every one was talking among them; even the Slytherins couldn't ruin my happiness today. We headed towards the Gryffindor table and sat down, I looked down the table again to see all of the Marauders; Potter looked in a sour mood while Black looked quite amused, Remus looked annoyed and agitated while Pettigrew was too busy stuffing his face.

"Another fight?" I looked over at Cassie.

"What do you mean?" The Marauders were best friends; it seemed bizarre to even think of them fighting.

"Remus and James have been fighting all summer, James insists that…" she stopped, she looked at me. She had said something that she wasn't supposed to say.

"Potter insists what?" she picked a muffin from the table.

"You'll figure out soon enough."

James POV

"For the last time James, what did I do?" I would not speak to him. How could he? He knew how much I loved Lily. Sirius chuckled; he was always amused by our fights.

"Hey Remus, next time you talk to Lily, try to keep at least three feet away from her." Sirius started laughing uncontrollably. It's a miracle that girls fall for him, he laughs in the funniest way, kind of like a hiccupping monkey.

Remus gave me a weird look, "This is what this is about? I hugged Lily yesterday and you stop talking to me?" I wouldn't look at him, "She was crying, okay?" again? Sirius stopped laughing,

"Wait, Evans cried more than once a day?" This was surprising news. Lily never cried. There must have been really bad.

"Surprising isn't it? Lily has feelings? That's why Lily never says yes to you, you seem to think that she's perfect and she's not." Remus got up and walked away, leaving Sirius and I staring at his retrieving back.

"You know what I think, mate?" Sirius said, "I think it's that time of month for Moony." I said nothing. He was right; the full moon was next week, but I had never seen Remus act like this before. I ran to catch up him,

"What happened to Lily?" I asked slightly out of breath.

"None of your business," he said briskly.

"Yes, it is." He said nothing, "Fine, I'll ask Cassie," I started walking away.

"Cassie doesn't know, James," he called out to me. I turned around,

"So she tells you, but not her closest friend?"

"Does it matter who she tells? She needed to get of her chest and I was there, so she told me," he entered the common room and sat on one of the chairs.

"Remus?"

He sighed, "What, Prongs?"

"Do you like her?" I had to ask him, I needed to know.

"No!! What don't you understand?? I'm her FRIEND!! Do I need to spell it out to you? I've been trying to tell you all summer; I would never take the girl you love away from you!!" The whole common room had heard, but I didn't care. And to top it all off, I screamed and hugged Moony. Talk about awkward.

**So there you go!! This chapter was a bit more eventful and longer, but there's even more!! And I know all of you are waiting for James and Lily to actually talk to each other… and that's coming!! I promise!!**

**And a bit more adventure too… but that's all I'm saying!! tapes mouth shut**

**Oh, and you know the deal, R&R!!**

**amnazing**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not me**

"_She cries for light when the day is done; she fears what night may bring. She cries for those who have never loved, and for those who never sing." (She Sings)_

Lily POV

"Good evening, Professor," I said so very sweetly to Professor Slughorn. Professor Slughorn absolutely adores me, and when I told him that I had not completed his essay he gave a detention. Despite this, we both knew that he would still give me full marks if I handed it in late, or if I handed it in at all for that matter.

"Good evening, Miss Evans." I sat down in a comfortable chair in his office, it was quite cozy. He got back to what he was doing, with further inspection I found out that he was writing letters, but wasn't this detention? Was I not supposed to be instead scrubbing the floors of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom or dusting out all of the trophies in the trophy room like all of the Marauders bragged about?

"Umm… Professor??"

"Yes?"

"Isn't this detention?"

He looked up, "Why yes it is, Miss Evans, it is." He went back to writing. Okay then, I guess this detention is going to be unlike most. I leaned back into my chair looking at all of the awards on the walls that Professor Slughorn had received. One picture caught my eye; it was Professor Slughorn standing arm in arm with a man that I had grown up with. I had known Edmund Potter ever since I could remember; he was a well known auror, and extremely rich for it. They were standing in my neighborhood waving into the camera and occasionally shaking hands. This must have been close to when the Potters moved because Mr. Potter looked much stressed out. I looked with a bit more concentration and saw a boy running out of the house, quickly greeting the Professor and running away. Then I remember what day this was, this was the day before he moved. I sat there paralyzed, that day had been denied for so many years and it had just shown up out of no where, haunting me even more than my father's demise.

_I woke up extra early this morning, the remnants of dry tears still on my face. I ran downstairs, passing my mother and father who were getting ready for work. My mom called my name, but I did not answer. I had to see him once more. I ran out the door, not bothering to close it, mom would get mad at me, but it was okay today. _

_"James?" he was standing at the edge of his driveway looking at the different houses on the street. He wasn't crying; he was just stoic. I wouldn't cry either, I would force myself not to. _

_'Take care of the tree house."_

_"I will," and then after a pause. "Will I ever see you again??"_

_He looked at me, "I assure you Lils, you will see me again. That I can promise. You just need to promise me that you will never forget me, that when we meet again we can still be friends." He looked at a house down the street. It was an empty house that James liked to keep away from._

_"Of course, James. How could I forget?"_

_"There are ways." He would say no more, and we stayed silent until his mother called him inside. That was that last I saw of James Potter, I had always wondered how I had missed him leaving his house, but I finally realized that he had floo-ed to his new house. I walked back into my house when the sound of a branch cracking caused me to stop. I turned around and there was a boy about my age standing there. He was looking at James' house as though it was poisonous. _

_"Can I help you?" His hair was very greasy and his face was very stern, as though he had never smiled in his life. _

_"I'm so glad that he left."_

_"Excuse me?" I stared at him._

_"Aren't you?" he said. Why would I be happy that my best friend had just left me?? "Don't you know why he left?" he looked at me as though I was crazy. _

_"No…" he walked away with me just staring at his retreating back. That would not be my only encounter with Severus Snape, he would walk by my house and stare at my windows as though he wanted to come in, and he would bad mouth James but I never liked him. _

"Very well Miss Evans, this was a very productive detention, was it not?" He had taken me out of my trance and without saying another word I walked out of his office and into the hallway. It looked to be about eight o clock outside, but I couldn't tell. I knew though that I did not want to face my friends just yet and so I headed outside. I sat by the lake just watching, the moon was starting to rise over the mountains and the skies were clear. Couples were cuddled around the lake enjoying the beautiful sight. I thought I could hear James Potter's flirtatious voice with some girl, but he wasn't close to me. After a while, I noticed that there were only a couple of people left outside. There was Potter and this other girl who seemed to be running into the castle; teary eyed. Potter got up and wiped his hands on his pants. That was when he noticed me,

"Oh, Hey Evans."

"No Potter," I headed into the woods.

"I wasn't going to ask that," he said following me. "I wanted to ask you something else." I turned around. This cannot be good.

"Yes?"

"Do you always break promises?"

"What are you talking about?" he was crazy, "No, I don't break promises."

"Do you lie often?" I stared, "You know, not telling the truth."

"I know what you mean, Potter, and no I do not lie often," I said.

"How come I just caught you in one??" I stared again, is he drunk? "Think about it, maybe you'll remember," and then he walked away. Leaving me in the Forbidden Forest; alone. Of course I knew what promise he was talking about, and I started to cry. Because for the first time in my entire life, James Potter had actually left me.

I stood there for another hour just crying, and that was when I noticed that yet again someone was behind me. Many people were behind me. I turned around to see cloaked figures and their wands were pointing directly at me. All of a sudden I saw a yellow light…

And that would be the last light I would see for a long time

**A/N **

**WOOHOO!! Another chapter done!!**

**Sorry there was no James POV in this one, but there will be in the next one!!**

**Remember my kidlings!! R&R!!**

**amnazing**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

_On my own, but mostly the savannah,  
Where the tumbleweeds fade away and die,  
Before the glassy sun burns a summer of crystals,  
The glistering waters of the high seas  
Of which was so far a place as of where vultures roam.  
I looked around but you weren't anywhere... (The Forever Friend)_

Lily POV

This was like one of those dreams where you suddenly find yourself trapped in some sort of dungeon, chained and weak. But then suddenly someone comes to rescue you and then you're free. Then you fall in love with the guy that rescues you and you live happily ever after.

I know what you're thinking, keep on dreaming, Lily. Not everyone's dreams come true. And then I would say, what would you do if you were in that dungeon for- I don't even know how long.? Wouldn't you want to want to find a way to get out? Dream about getting out of there? The only difference was that I really was trapped in here, and I was weak. It looked like I was in some sort of tower, like in a castle. There was a window in the very top giving me some sunlight and air. Today, it was raining, so my spirits were not at their highest (not that they had been).

I jumped at the sound of keys rattling at the door; they were early. I was usually prepared to see them, but today I wasn't. Door finally opened and I noticed that there was only one today. He got a chain of keys and unlocked my chains. He grabbed me, forcing me to stand up and led me outside of the comfort of my little dungeon. He led me along the same route that we went everyday until we got to the heavy door. He took out his wand, saying some curse and the door opened.

"Bring her in," I heard a voice calling out. A snake slithered out of the door. Under normal circumstances I would have screamed, but I had gotten used to it by now. I was brought into the room and brought in front of a chair that looked like it had once belonged to a great king. But in his spot there was anyone but a King. Lord Voldermort sat on his throne his red eyes almost smiling as he saw how weak I was becoming. You could practically see through me; as though if you cut me, you could see the white of my bones.

"You know why I have brought you here yet again, Miss Evans," he said. "Everyday I give you a chance to flourish and be strong again, and everyday you refuse."

"Then why do you think that today will be different? I will never join you, I'll die first," he looked mad. He got up and took out his wand. _Be strong, Lily. _He pointed it at me and a yellow streak of light flew towards me. I felt a jab of pain and fell to the ground. The last thing I heard before passing out was his high pitched laughter.

I woke up in the usual state; chained and in my usual spot in the dungeon. A plate of food was set somewhere near by, so I had been unconscious for longer than usual. This was not a good sign. My stomach growled telling me to take that food, but I refused to eat it. _You're strong, Lily, _someone within me said. And it somehow gave me courage and I pushed the food away.

I laid down on the cold, stone floor trying to get my mind off my hunger by trying to get to get to sleep. I was almost asleep when I heard the keys for the second time that day; I craned my head to look at the window. The full moon shown clearly through the window, providing the only light that I would get that night. The door slowly creaked open and a figure crept into the room. He ran swiftly into the room until he got to me. His one pointer finger went up to his lips telling me to be silent. He found the right key and starting unlocking the keys. I peered into his face and I didn't take me long to realize to notice the similarities. The hair, the eyes, the nose; this was be no doubt Regulus Black. He freed me and told me to get up; he didn't grab me like he had earlier today.

"Where are we going?" I whispered.

He answered so softly that I wasn't sure that I had heard him, "I'm setting you free."

He took me hand leading me out of the dungeon; being ever so quiet that even one of the guards didn't notice us as we passed him. He lead me out of the castle and into a forest where we passed through trees and shrubs and animals that stared at us, as though it looked strange that a man in a black cloak was taking a girl that could barely move out of a castle that they had assumed to be deserted. I was getting tired and he would stop for a couple of minutes and then say that we had to get as far as we could from Lord Voldermort.

After what felt like forever we made it out of the forest and I found myself looking at one of my first sunrises in the longest time. There was a lake and the sun reflected off of it making it look picture perfect.

"This is where I leave you," he said. I looked at him. Where was he going?

"Won't he kill you if he finds out?"

"Not if I beat him to it," he replied. I was shocked; he was going to kill himself because of me? "Go back to Hogwarts, tell Dumbledore what happened. Tell him that someone rescued you. No one else should know."

"Not even your brother?" he looked out across the lake.

"Tell him that I rescued you, no one else, though. Goodbye, Miss Evans." He handed me my wand.

"Will I ever see you again?" but he had already left. I had no idea of where I was or how to get to Hogwarts. I turned headed around the lake, and into another forest where I walked blindly through that forest and when I finally got out I noticed that I had been passing through it all day, it was now night. I took out my wand whispering _lumos_ while transfiguring a branch into a sandwich eating it while walking. Everything hurts; legs, arms, head, and my shoulders. I hadn't walked this far in a while. I was getting hydrated and starting not to think clearly. Everything was getting blurry and I was really dizzy. I stopped sitting down against a tree. I could barely think, barely feeling anything. I closed my eyes and distantly I heard someone calling my name, picking me up and that was the last I heard.

James POV

I had wanted to make her feel bad, but instead I felt terrible. She was gone; I had no idea where she was. Everyone had said that she was dead, but something told me that she was still alive. Dumbledore had sent aurors out in search of her, but it had been over seven months now. Everyone had lost hope, why did I then feel as though she was still alive, waiting for me. We had promised to always be there for each other, if this had happened, say seven years ago, I would have gone after Lily in a heartbeat. Yet, fifteen year old James was sitting in the common room, with only his thoughts during the middle of the night. All of the Marauders had been sleeping; we had been out the night before because of the full moon, so I knew that they would not get up until noon the next day, not caring if we had classes or not, Remus was excused seeing as he could barely move.

"Hey James," I looked up to find a whole group of girls crowded around me. The girl that had talked was apparently the brave one for everyone else looked shyly in my direction.

"Not today, I'm not in the mood," I replied bluntly. She looked hurt, as though she was about to start crying, but she kept a straight face and went into the girls' dorms. That left me with my thoughts all over again. Days had passed in a blur, not knowing what had happened with anyone anymore. The only people that would even think to talk to me were my friends, and teachers. Everyone else just stared at me in the hallways whispering about me. But I just didn't care anymore.

"Mr. Potter?" I turned around to find a little boy, probably a first or second year behind me.

"What?" The boy looked shocked that I had even noticed him.

"Umm… well… Professor Dumbledore would like a word with you."

"Why?"

"Something about finding a body, they think that they have found Miss Evans." Before he had even finished that sentence I ran out of the room sprinting towards the Headmaster's office.

**Authors Note: Yes I know, I'm being terrible with all of the cliffhangers that I've left you, but really writing them is soooo much fun!! I'll try to update a bit quicker next time, and I promise to as a bit more Lily/ James time!! **

**Until then!!**

**amnazing**

**P.S. remember to R&R!! I love hearing what you guys have to say; good or bad!**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter… J

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter… J.K. Rowling does**

**Chapter 9:**

3rd Person

"How long has she been unconscious?'

"About 6 weeks," Dumbledore replied. His tone was not as cheery as it usually was. He sat on the chair on the other side of her bed, looking at her lifeless body. The only way you tell that she was alive was the rising of her chest from her soft breathing.

There was a chair on the other side of her bed that had always been occupied since she had been there. The lady that had been talking to Dumbledore approached that chair. Her heels sounding like seconds like seconds ticking by, her perfume gave scent that made everyone look up when she passed. Her clothes were tailored and expensive. Her hair was red like her daughter's, and it was put up to give a professional look. She put a manicured hand on the now sleeping boy's shoulder and he woke with a start. He looked at Dumbledore and slowly over to the woman that had awakened him. He stared at her as though trying to place her.

"Hello James," she said. It had finally clicked. This was Lily Evan's mother. She smiled down at him, showing her pure white teeth. A fake smile, he could see how her eyes traced his hair which was even messier than usual. His clothes were wrinkled and dirty and his glasses were lopsided, but he fixed that.

"Hello Mrs. Evans," her smile faltered a bit and she looked at Professor Dumbledore.

"He doesn't know?" she asked.

"No one but Miss Evans knows," he replied. His eyes refused to meet James's.

"Not even James knows?!" She did not look as composed as she had previously.

"I don't know what?" They both looked at James.

Lily POV 3 days later

I woke up expecting to be on the ground, but I found myself on a comfortable bed. I expected it to be dark, but the sun was at its peak in the sky. I thought that I was alone, but there were five other people next to me on my bed. I looked at Professor Dumbledore and his face lit up. I tried to get up, but my arms wouldn't obey and I fell back onto my bed with a grunt. That's when Cassie finally noticed me and screamed, causing the other three to look at me. Alice, Rachel, and Gema smiled as they approached me. Alice started crying, we hugged and talked. We were laughing as though nothing had happened.

"Professor," I said looking at the Professor. "When do I go back to class?" Everyone looked at me and then at Professor Dumbledore, awaiting his response.

"You will go back to school in September, of course."

"September, Sir? What day is it?"

"It's July 6th, Lily. You missed most of the year," Cassie answered.

"There is absolutely nothing to worry about, Miss Evans, you can make up all of your work," Dumbledore assured me.

But that worried look wasn't for all of the school that I had missed. I heard heels clicking my way and found a woman talking to Potter. He looked at me and our eyes locked for a second. The woman finally looked at me and ran over to me hugging and whispering my name. I could feel tears streaking down her face, yet I remained stoic. I didn't hug her back, I didn't whisper her name, and I didn't cry. She pulled back looking at me while her hands were still on her shoulders.

"Lily, honey, it's me, Mom. You remember me don't you?"

"Yes - … Mom, I do," she hugged me again and this time I hugged her back, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted her to think that I wanted to.

Then, Madam Pomfrey intruded on our little family reunion claiming that she needed to take care of me. I looked at Potter, and for the first time since arriving at Hogwarts I wanted to talk to no one but him. This is was the only time in my life that I didn't want him to stop looking at me. Something about that look made me want to know what he was thinking and to be able to talk to him again like we used to.

James POV

She was alive; the moment that I saw her I wanted to be the one that was hugging her instead of her mom. She looked like she wanted nothing more than to anywhere but where she was. Her mom was crying and she had just woken up from "sleeping" for two months. Professor Dumbledore walked up to me he looked at me for a couple of minutes.

"Why is she back? Why after all of these years does she decide to randomly show her face? Why was Lily so upset when she saw her?" I asked.

Dumbledore smiled, "Those aren't my questions to answer. Ask her."

"Ask her?! She'll murder me before I even get the first question out of my mouth!"

"The Lily that you know?" the Professor looked at me over his spectacles. "People grow up and change, but it doesn't mean that we change who we are." He walked away, I looked at Lily and our eyes met. Her face showed frustration and agony. Something that I had not seen in her for a while. _Maybe she hasn't changed, maybe she is your best friend even if she doesn't talk to you…. _

Lily POV

"Don't you just love this shirt that I bought?" my mother bragged. I nodded, truth be told, it was hideous. I was to be bedridden for another day… a day too long. But everyone had cheered me up in some way, even Dumbledore when he asked me what had happened when I was captured, the only person that had failed was my mother. She had brought me clothes galore in the last week. I could probably last a whole year with all that she had bought me. The only person that had not showed up was James Potter. Everyone told me that he hadn't left my side since I had been brought here, yet he never visited me.

"We painted your new room yesterday!" I looked up, new room? "You can move in right when you get out of here!"

"Where am I going exactly?"

"To my house, silly! Robert brought an absolutely gorgeous house last year, it's so spacious and your room is the size of a football field…"

"Wait a minute, who's Robert?"

"Oh! I had completely forgotten! Why Robert is your new father!"

"Excuse me?"

"We got married a year and a half ago after I divorced John who I married for, oh I don't know, three years or something. And then before him there was William and don't forget Andrew, and I can't ever forget Dan."

"You left Dad to get married?!" How could she? All this time I had thought that she was dead, and she comes back telling me that she was out having affairs with guys, rich guys by the look of it.

She ignored me.

"And, guess who else is there? Petunia! And she's getting married!! We're planning a whole great wedding for her and she's so excited. You'll have to be a bridesmaid of course. And her husband, Vernon, is so… interesting."

I didn't have time to respond to that, there was a knock on the door and James Potter entered, looking a bit embarrassed. Then I heard an ear splitting ring that caused mom to jump, she managed through her purse and took out her cell phone. She looked at the caller ID looking a bit puzzled and excused herself. I looked at Potter and found him smirking.

"You did that didn't you?"

"Not me exactly, Sirius wants to become more equipped with muggle technologies."

"I actually feel bad for her, what does he have planned?" he wouldn't answer, he just had that mischievous look in his eyes. I sighed, typical Potter. But then abruptly he stopped laughing and there was an awkward silence.

"So… How are you feeling?"

"Better, much better actually," I replied.

"Can I ask you a question?" I nodded and he continued, "Why does she act so differently than before?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer that question at all. What would he say? He was James Potter, one word and the whole school would know.

"People change, that's all," I replied.

"Why did she come back then?" I stared at him, how did he know that my mom had left? He sat in the chair that my mom had previously occupied.

"Some complications, that's all."

He leaned closer, "That's loads of B S and you know it."

"Give me a reason not to B S and maybe I'll consider telling you."

"Why do you need a reason?"

"Well, you tell me how you would feel if some random guy wants to know why your mother returned, seeing as your own best friends don't know."

"Well, I'm not normal am I?" he spoke softer than usual.

"No, you're not," I answered unconsciously.

"Then…" There was an abrupt knock on the door that caused both of us to jump. The person was trying to open the door but James had locked it.

"Lily?" my mom asked.

"One minute, Mom!" I started speaking really quietly so only James could hear. "A couple of months after you left, my mother disappeared. We all thought that she was dead."

"Lily?!"

"One minute!! – Dad was depressed, all he did was work and drink. All I had was Tuney until I got my Hogwarts letter. She barely talked to me, but she did it was too call me a 'freak' or something like that."

"Lily?!"

"One second!! – then on the first day of school this year I found out that dad had died, he was murdered actually, by Lord Voldermort. Dumbledore told me that I was his target. That is why I was captured. That's why my mom just showed up; I'm staying at her house."

"LILY EVANS, OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!" the door opened and my mom walked in smoothing out her hair and clothes.

"Who was that on the phone?" I asked as though nothing had happened.

"A man, well that's what he said he was, but I'm sure that he was a boy. Probably no younger than you, Lily."

"What did he say?" I slapped James on the arm because he hadn't moved since I had started talking. He jumped realizing that there was someone else in the room.

"He wanted to sell me a motorcycle! And get this; he said that it would fly! Well, I told him…" she went on and on, but I didn't listen. Sirius Black had wanted a flying motorcycle ever since that I had met him. I looked at James and he was listening to mom, but trying to hold back his laughter.

"Well, I better go," Potter got up and left, when he got to the door he turned to look at me, and for a moment I thought that he had actually felt bad for me. And then he left, and he was gone… but for how long?

**Author's Note:**

**There you go!! I decided to use a different font… well because I wanted to P. I'm sooooo sorry about the long wait. That's why I made this chapter worth the wait. I promise the next chapters won't be as dark, I know that there were some sad parts. But hopefully (with the help of a certain Sirius Black) I will add a bit more humor and a more happier James Potter!!**

**But until then…**

**R&R!!**

**I love all of your reviews!!  
**

**amnazing**

**p.s. you're going to have to bear with me, I have finals next week and I am not even close to being prepared.**

**I'm a terrible procrastinator (**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"_In Flander's Fields the poppies grow, between the crosses, row on row that mark our place" (Flander's Fields)_

Lily POV

"Ready to leave, Lily Dear?" I didn't want to say yes, I wanted to stay at my home, my only home. But my body would not listen; I nodded my head anyways. Gema, Alice, and Rachel hugged me. Then, Cassie hugged me, whispering, "We'll keep in touch, I promise." They walked off, probably flooing home.

I turned to my mother and followed her out to a shiny, black Mercedes. I sat in the plush leather carefully as though not to break it and buckled my seat belt. After mum did the same, we were off. I watched my wonderful home fade away until it was nothing but a speck in the distance. Bye Heaven, Hello Hell, I thought as I turned around and faced my mother.

James POV

Quidditch is the best sport in the entire world, nothing compares to it. No muggle sports can even compare. Muggle sports don't even require an effort. Quidditch, however, does. There are no rules, no regulations, unless, of course, you don't want to "accidentally" kill anyone. That would be bad. The other thing that quidditch is capable of doing is getting your mind off of what you're thinking. Sometimes you get so absorbed in quidditch that you don't remember what you were thinking.

Sirius and I were playing quidditch… again. I could tell that he was annoyed, but he didn't say anything. We finally got down taking a water break.

"Stupid broom gave me a wedgie the size of Switzerland," Sirius said while getting off of his broom.

" Pansy," I muttered.

"Excuse me, Mr. Potter, but what did you just say?"

"You heard what I said: Pansy."

"Oh yea?! Well, you're… a … chicken!"

"A Chicken, ay?"

"Yes, a chicken."

"This calls for war!" I said.

""You got it, Sir Chickalot, I'll go get the action figures."

"Uh… Sir Pans-a-lot?"

"Yes?"

"I was talking about doing rock, papers, scissors…"

"Oh, I knew that…"

Lily POV

"… and Marge is just so delightful! You'll love her, she's a bridesmaid too, you know. Speaking of which, what color do you think the bridesmaid dresses should be? I was thinking on lavender. Wouldn't they just look just lovely with Petunia's light pink dress?"

"Yes." I hadn't even paid any attention to her since the past three hours. This ride could not have been longer. We were in the rich part of London and the houses just kept on getting bigger and bigger like there was no stop. How big was my house?

"… and Petunia's just aching to see you…"

Oh yea, that's why she wrote to me to ask me how I was feeling… I'm kidding.

"Oh, look! We're almost there! My does time fly when you're having fun!" I looked outside to find ginormous houses. They could have been office buildings. One floor could have probably held my Dad's entire house. We pulled up to a light blue house with black shutters. There were people working on the lawn and I could hear something being constructed in the backyard.

"Here, let me show you your room." She led me inside to find a twenty foot high ceiling with an absolutely gorgeous chandelier. I stared at it as my mum led me up, get this, three more floors. Each floor seemed to be color coordinated. She led me to the floor that was green and showed me to my room.

"Wow." That was all that I could say. The bed was huge, there was a canopy around it and when I sat on it I found out that it was a water bed. Opposite of the bed was a 48 inch TV and next to that were a computer and a telephone as well. I hadn't used any of these devices in years, but oh well. The window stood facing some body of water in the backyard. It also had a window seat. The closet was probably the size of my room at my old house. In other words, I lived in a palace and I was its Princess.

"On, I knew that you'd like it! Now, let me introduce you to the neighbors." Before I even knew what was happening, I was dragged down three flights of stairs and dragged outside. She led me out into the driveway where, once again, I encountered the servants working. Some were mowing the lawn, others planting and watering the plants, and some more cleaning out the pond on the side of the house. They all looked up as we passed, looking at me, with their dark eyes and tanned faces.

"Oh, don't mind the outside servants, the inside ones are much nicer," my mother said. I didn't respond to this, but I didn't have to think about it much to know that these servants were used to this. They were used to be forced into labor and taking these insults. They outnumbered my entire family, probably this entire neighborhood, yet they were powerless. Kinda like the muggle borns in the wizarding world. They were capable of doing great things, but never could a muggle born be as powerful as the Malfoys, Riddles, Blacks, or Potters; all purebloods. As much as every wizard says that the wizarding world is more superior and more advanced than the muggle world, they could not deny the fact that socially both of us were the same. And here, where my mother were part of high status families; "the purebloods of the muggle world" if you will, I couldn't diminish the fact that I was torn between a world where I was someone versus a world where I could never be anyone. Unless, of course, I married one of those pure bloods, and that, I can assure you, will never happen.

"… and all of the neighbors are all so wonderful! I'm sure that you'll love them all!" She was leading me up another driveway. The lawn contained lush, green grass, but here, I could not see any servants. The only sound of life was the occasional screaming. As I drew near, I could decipher that two people were playing rock, paper, scissors. We climbed up the stairs leading to another gigantic door and my mum rang the doorbell. I sighed, here we go! I smiled and got ready for someone to answer the door

James POV

"Not fair!" I yelled, "You saw that I was about to do rock so you put down paper! It's not fair!"

"Mate, I think that it's time that you realize that you just can't beat me." Sirius leaned back in his chair. "I'm just too good for you."

I sighed, "Don't get too overconfident, it's just that I was distracted. But next time, I assure you that I will beat you."

"James Potter? Distracted? What? Is Evans behind me or something?" He turned around to check.

"No, but you're pretty close."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sirius said as he leaded back into his chair again.

"It's just she told me stuff that I could never imagine her telling me. Yet, she told me, and I can't get over what she said."

"Which was…"

"Did you know that he father died? Last year, when she came late to the feast, we all though that she and Albus had something going on. That was when he told her, and now she has to live with her mum."

Sirius looked sad, " You mean, Evans and Albus don't have something going on?"

I sighed, Sirius and his selective hearing for you. "They better not, Sirius."

"But I was thinking that Minnie and I could…"

"You wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?"

"Oh, you're on."

"Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!" we yelled, both of us throwing down paper. "Again, Again!" And we went on like that for a good ten minutes. Both of us were tied, 25 -25 and this was the last draw.

"Ready?" Sirius asked.

"To win?" I said, "Of course."

"We'll see about that." The door bell rang, but we ignored it.

"Rock! Paper! Scissors!-"

"Master Potter!" We both turned our heads as Cherry, the head house elf came bustling out of the house. "The door, Master Potter! You must attend to it!"

"Our game shall have to wait, Sir Sirius," I said as I got up, " Thanks, Cherry, I got so caught up in our game that I didn't notice."

I reached the door and opened to find Lily Evans and her mother standing on the doorstep. Lily's face showed the same amount of surprise that mine contained and we just stared at each other.

"Oh, I knew that you were going to love our neighbors, Lily!" I couldn't tell if Lily's mum was being sarcastic or not. But something told me that this summer was just about to get a thousand times more interesting.

**Authors note:**

**whistles I know that its been, let's see, two months since I've updated but I needed an inspiration and POW! it just came to me! I really actually kind of like this chapter, especially allowing some more James POVs in. I think that the next chapter will mostly be in James POV. Anyways… REVIEW!! I want your input!!**

**amnazing**

**Click on the button**

**Click on the button**

**Click on the button… **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I know, you're shocked, I actually updated. I was waiting for a brain spark, and it finally came! *cheers* So here's chapter 11, I was supposed to be doing my homework, but I couldn't stop thinking about this chapter, so I just decided that I'm not going to do my homework… yet. =P So, since it's been a while, I'm going to give a brief synopsis of what's been going on. **

**So Lily's father dies and she can't tell anyone, but she ends up telling Remus because she needs to get it off of her chest. James finds them hugging and gets mad at Remus and Remus tells him that there's nothing going on between him and Lily. Later, Lily is in the forbidden forest, just walking alone when she is captured by Death Eaters. She's stays with them for 7 months until Regulus Black saves her and just leaves her to fend on her own. Later, she is found and taken to the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts. When she finally wakes up, she finds that her mother, who she presumed to be dead, is comforting her and telling her that Lily is coming home with her. James naturally gets curious, and Lily finds herself telling James everything that happened when he left (in case you forgot, Lily and James were best friends when they were kids, but James ended up moving). In the end, Lily goes home (seeing as its summer now) and finds out that her new neighbor is none other than James… coincidence? I think not! **

Chapter 11

"_We are the dead, short days ago we lived, felt dawn, saw sunset grow. Loved and were loved, and no we lie in Flanders's Fields." (Flanders's Fields) _

**Lily's POV**

Have you ever wanted to do, or say something so bad, but you didn't? Questions literally clouded my mind as James talked to my mother acting just like a host should. He would occasionally steal glances towards me, but I pretended not to notice. Actually, I was quite surprised that he was even listening to my mother talk anymore; she had been talking for the last hour. By now, I had taken in my surroundings to find that this house did not disappoint. It had a high ceiling with an absolutely huge chandelier. The walls were the traditional white, and the white leather sofa that I was sitting on felt too soft to sit on. There was a fireplace on the other side of the room; it looked modern and recently finished. I felt so insignificant and small in a room like this.

After a while Sirius came to join us and sat next to me fiddling with his fingers, not even bothering to show that he was paying attention. I almost felt bad for James, listening to my mother like that… almost.

"So, James," mom started, "Is your mom coming home soon?"

"She should be home any minute…" In that instant I heard the door open and a flustered looking Mrs. Potter walked into the room, she looked absolutely exhausted.

"Oh…" she said as she noticed that she had guests. "Elena! How nice it is to see you!" she looked at me. "Lily? Is that you?"

I stood up, "Yes, it is," I said.

"Oh, my! You've grown so much! You're not much of a girl anymore, now are you?" She came up to me and hugged me, and for the first time in the longest time, I didn't want to let go, she hugged the way that a mother should, and it felt… like home. I did eventually let go, and she moved to my mother.

"Mum, where's Cassie?" James said as his mom hugged mine.

"She's outside." This lifted my spirits.

"Oh!" I said, "Can I go see her?"

Mrs. Potter looked at me, "Why, of course, Lily!"

I walked out of the living room to find Sirius walking beside me.

"Where are you going?" he inquired with a smirk on his face.

"Outside, why?"

"Because, you're going the wrong way." He walked in front of me and led me around the house until we reached the door. The entire time was spent with me awing over the magnificence of this house. It was absolutely gorgeous; it almost made me want to explore the rest of it. I made my way outside to find Cassie sitting on the porch swing.

"Cassie!" she looked up

"Lily!!" She immediately got up to hug me and I hugged her back. "So what do you think?"

"You never told me that you lived in a castle! It's huge!" Cassie laughed.

"Yea, it's pretty nice…" It was just then that she noticed that Sirius was behind me. I had forgotten about him since my attention was focused on finding Cassie. Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?"

Sirius jumped as though he did not expect Cassie to notice her. "Umm… I was just bringing Lily to you." I had never heard Sirius sound so… nice before, he sounded so innocent. It was actually kind of cute.

"Just leave," She said. He left without another word and I wasn't sure if he was happy or sad to leave

"Finally. Lily, I have to tell you so much!" Before I could even react I was lead back into the house and upstairs into another room. It was obviously Cassie's with the pink walls and posters. I sat on her bed and she caught me up on everything that I had missed.

*~*

**James POV**

When I could finally leave my mom, I made my way up to my room. I could hear Cassie talking in her room as I passed it, and knew that Lily would be busy for at least the next 3 hours. I opened the door and walked in feeling tired and heavy, but I didn't go to bed, I knew that if I did, I would never be able to go to sleep. Instead I made my way to the balcony that was just outside of my room. It was quiet outside, peaceful, even. Looking out, I stared at the sun that was just about to set; it was going to be a perfect evening. If only I didn't feel like crap.

I thought back to the times when Lily and I would play endlessly until the sun set like this, all of the those times when the day would fly by; weeks would be gone in a flash.

I don't know how long it was until Sirius made his way up to my room, but when he did come, the sun had long set and the half moon shown through the clouds. He stood next to me.

"You missed dinner, mate."

"I realize that, Sirius."

"You may want to eat something."

"I'm not hungry." He didn't say anything to that. He knew how stubborn I could be so he didn't push it. We stood for another immeasurable amount of time, until Sirius finally spoke.

"Is there something that you're not telling me, James?" I didn't answer for a while. I trusted Sirius with my life, he had kept all of my secrets and he kept mine, but for some reason, I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him this. He wouldn't tell anyone, I knew he wouldn't.

"I just have a lot of stuff on my mind." I said.

"Really, I hadn't noticed." He mumbled sarcastically. I only had to say one word for him to understand.

"Lily."

"I should have known."

"I think you already did." Silence again. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was just silence. He didn't make me tell him, he was just waiting for me to decide. This is one of the reasons that Sirius Black is one of my best friends. It wouldn't be long before I would tell him everything. He didn't say anything and I kept on talking until I finished. It wasn't until that I did, that he said something.

"Wow…"

"That's an understatement."

"I think that you need to talk to her."

"There is no way that she's going to talk to me."

"You have the entire summer! Just talk to her!"

"I can't, Padfoot!"

"Why?"

"I-I just can't"

"You're afraid to talk to her now?" And when I didn't say anything he started laughing. "Prongs, mate, you have it bad."

"I realize that, thank you very much." I mumbled as Sirius laughed.

"But what you don't realize is," Sirius continued when he stopped laughing, "that trying to get your mind off of her is only going to make you think about her."

"I'd think about her anyways."

"That bad?" I nodded. "Hmmmm…"

"Hmm… what?"

"Just thinking…"

"And what lead to this phenomenon?"

Sirius didn't say anything for a while, and it got quiet again. Though, it was quite amusing to see Sirius think. It almost looked like he was having a battle with himself. He would hit himself for thinking something and then smile and laugh. I was absorbed in his expressions when he finally said something.

"AHA!!" I jumped. "I knew it! I knew, I knew, I knew it!!!" He started dancing around the balcony; it wasn't until I asked him what he was dancing about that he talked again. "Why don't you tell me, Prongise?"

I just stared. "Unless you're going to telepathically tell me, Padfoot, I have no idea what you're dancing about."

Sirius sighed, "You say that you can't stop thinking about Lily, that you're affected when she is, Merlin, when she was gone, you were like a ghost, Prongs. Do you know what that means?"

"No…"

Sirius sighed again, "You love her! You more than just fancy her, you love her!!!!"

I didn't say anything; could it be possible, could I be in love with Lily Evans? I had never really thought about it, but now, as I did, it made complete sense. When she was gone, it was as though I had ceased to live. Whenever she talked to me, I felt as though I was at lost for words, and I was always thinking about her!

Sirius was looking at me expectedly. "Say it," He said.

"Say what?"

"Say that you love her."

"Why?"

"Just do it, Prongs."

I sighed, "I love her," I mumbled.

Sirius put his hand to his ear, "What? I can't hear you?!"

"I love her!" I said a little louder this time.

"Love who?" Sirius asked.

"I love, Lily Evans!!" I yelled. It echoed in the night as I said it, but it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I smiled.

"My work here is done," Sirius said.

*~*

Cassie and I talked for hours on end; she filled me in on everything that had gone on while I was gone. Alice and Frank had gotten together at the end of the year. Rachel had helped them get together. Cassie said that the days tended to drag on when I was gone, but for some reason, I thought that she would have found a way to entertain herself.

"Oh, my God, you should have seen James; he was at total loss when you were gone." I looked at her in disbelief. "Really! He wouldn't talk to anyone! He would constantly ask Dumbledore if he had heard anything about you, and get this, he didn't even play one trick on Snape when you left. It was as though he turned into another person."

"I find that extremely hard to believe, Cassie."

"Lily, you know James better than I do, don't you think that it's possible for him to change? He really cares about you, Lily. He blames himself for everything that happened. You should really talk to him."

"Talking to James won't do any good, Cassie. He'll probably find a way to ask me out, or make a joke out of it, or something."

"Lily, he's changed. Just give him a chance."

I snorted. "The day that I give James Potter _a chance _will be the day that you go out on a date with Sirius Black."

"You can't hate him that much."

"You have no idea."

"Lily Evans, you cannot lie to save your life." She whispered. "I should bring you home, let's go." She got up and headed outside. She started walking incredibly fast, so fast that it wasn't long before I lost her.

"Dammit," I mumbled. Lily Evans being lost was not a good thing. I started aimlessly walking around the house hoping that I would be able to find Sirius and he would take me outside again, but so such luck. I was lost. _Its okay, Lily, don't panic, you're only lost in a ginormous house, no big deal. _ I was going to kill Cassie when I found her; wouldn't she realize that I'm not behind her?

Finally, I saw a light at the end of the hallway that I was walking in. I turned the corner only to bump into someone… and then I fell.

"Ouch," Potter said as he got up. That was before he noticed that he had bumped into me. "Dammit, Evans, you're head is as hard as a rock."

I got up mumbling as I did and started to walk away, pretending to not notice him.

"Where are you going, Evans?"

"I'm going home, Potter." I said coldly.

"Well, you're going the wrong way…" I could hear the smirk in his voice, but it vanished when I turned to look at him. "I could take you home… if you want." Did he honestly think I had a choice?

"Under one condition, Potter… if you even try to make a move on me, I'll make sure that you will never have children, do I make myself clear?"

"Naturally, come with me." He led me in the other direction and that was when I noticed that right above me, on the balcony near the stairs, Cassie was waving goodbye.

"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.

**YAY!!!!  
**

**You know what I'm going to say… R&R!!!  
**

**Now.**

**Not that I'm forcing you or anything… **


	12. Chapter 12

**WOOHOO!!! Chapter 12!! This is kind of my early Thanksgiving present for all of you Americans… but anyways… you're all excited, I can see it on your faces (because I can see your faces so well). This chapter is a bit… graphic, so if you're under 13… you probably shouldn't read it… I bumped up the rating… but just so you know…**

**This is the Lily/James chapter you've all been waiting for!!!**

**I think…**

**Maybe…**

**Just read. **

Chapter 12

**Lily POV  
**

I hate awkward situations, they're so… awkward. All you want to do is die, but then after the situation is past, you wish that you could have handled the situation differently. But, of course, you make a complete and utter fool of yourself.

James Potter was walking me home. Now, if you didn't know the circumstances you probably would have thought that the world was coming to an end or something. But I assure you, I was not walking home with Potter without a logical excuse. I was lost, and he knew how to get me… un lost. But at the moment, he was being incredibly un-talkative. I don't think that I had ever seen Potter so quiet before. He seemed to be pondering something, and for some reason I wanted to know what that was. I can't even tell you how many times I had tried to start up some sort of conversation with him, but every time, it didn't work.

How was I supposed to talk to him if I didn't even know what to say?! It makes no sense to me whatsoever. The logic of this escapes my mind. Not that I care, of course.

"How are you?" Potter brought me out of my trace and I looked at him like he had grown seven heads.

"Oh! So you can talk!"

"Just answer the question, Evans."

"I'm fine." I mumbled. "How are you?"

"Okay… but surprised that you actually care…"

"You can't honestly think that I'm a mean person…"

"I don't… sometimes… maybe… kinda…" he trailed off, leaving me confused.

"Umm… okay."

"It's just that you're mean to me, but nice to everyone else."

"Not without a good excuse."

"Come on, Evans, I'm not that bad, even you should know that."

"I used to think that you're not that bad." I whispered, but he heard me.

"I haven't changed, you know, I'm still the same person."

"Are you?" I asked, still whispering. He didn't say anything after that and we walked in silence. He opened the door when we reached it and we walked outside. The sky was clear and the moon and stars shown down on us as though they wanted to know what we were going to say.

"So… what do you think of your new home?" he asked.

"I love it," I said unenthusiastically.

"But, you don't like the people in it…"

"No."

He mumbled something incoherent.

"Did you know?" I asked.

"Know what?"

"Know that my mother was your neighbor."

There was a pause.

"No, I didn't, but I think my mom did."

"Oh…" I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Lily, you have know, that even if I did know, I would've told you-"

"But I wouldn't have believed you."

"No, but-"

"Potter, whatever you're trying to say is not going to make me like you anymore than I do now."

"There was a time when you didn't hate me."

"There was a time when you weren't an egotistical bitch."

He looked angry. "Lily, what is it exactly that makes me an 'egotistical bitch'?"

"You're rich, you think that you're better than everyone else, and your head is so big that I could…"

"Like you?" I stopped. "You're rich, look at where you're living, Lily, you walk around in school like own everything." I stared at him. "No, Lily… I haven't changed, you haven't either. You're still the same Lily that I've known my entire life, your head is just too big to prove it."

"My head? I'm not that one that struts around Hogwarts expecting everyone to worship me, I don't prank people, and I'm not mean! I can't believe that you would even think that! I am not egotistical!" I was angry as well, what was Potter high on?

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe that's the way that I've always been? Have you already forgotten all of the pranks we pulled on your sister? You're right, Lily, I'm James Potter, but I can't say that you're Lily Evans."

I had nothing to say to that, because for the first time in his life, James Potter was right. There was a time that the person standing next to him laughing was me, not Sirius Black, when he pulled a prank. It was then that I realized that we were at my house, or whatever it is. I walked up to the front porch, refusing to look at Potter.

"Well, I'll see you later…" I turned to go…

"Lily, wait… "I turned around he looked… apologetic. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I was angry."

"But it doesn't mean that it's not true." He had nothing to say to that. "Good night, Potter." And with that I turned around and entered the house.

Its magnificence astounded me yet again, it seemed much bigger than I had last imagined. I had yet to walk another step when a servant came running up to me, she was dressed in white and black and looked extremely out of breath.

"Miss Lily, I'm so sorry that I am late, please forgive me. I am to bring you to dinner!" I said nothing. "Oh! Dear me! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Abigail, and I'll be your servant while you stay here. But enough for introductions, let me get you washed up." She led me up the three flights of stairs and led me to my bathroom, she washed me up. But what I really liked about her was that she was quiet. She didn't disturb me as I thought about what had just happened. Before I even realized it, I was in a casual sundress with my hair combed and reaching past my shoulders. She led me downstairs until we reached two ginormous double doors.

"Miss Lily, I should probably tell you that your sister is in there… and her fiancé as well." I groaned; I did not want to face my sister.

"Thanks… is there anyone else that I should know about?"

"Umm…well your stepfather…." I had forgotten about him.

"Great, well thanks, Abigail."

"No, worries, I am your servant; I'm supposed to tell you this kind of stuff." She smiled.

"No, you're more than a servant, you're a friend." I smiled back, took a deep breath and opened those doors.

There, sat 4 people, 2 men and 2 women. They looked so awkward together, acting too fancy for their own good. Petunia and mum both were wearing dresses, similar to mine, legs crossed and smiles plastered permanently on their faces. The men also sat elegantly, or as elegantly as men can smiles on their faces as well. Vernon Dursley is not known to be elegant, but he acted proper all the same. They all looked up when the door opened and I felt instantly out of place. Petunia and Vernon instantly had a look of disgust on their face; my mom stood up, excited and elegant as well, and walked over to me and grabbed my hand.

"Oh, Lily! I'm so happy to see you! You have to meet everyone right away." She led me over to the little crowd of people that were still not talking. "Well, you already know Petunia and Vernon, but you haven't met this guy yet,"

She turned me so I could face the one man in the room that I couldn't recognize.

"Lily, I'd like you to meet Robert Waters, my husband." He was around my mom's age, he wasn't, like twenty years younger, like I was expecting. But it was obvious that this man lived on money. His suit looked like it was made just for him, his tie was made of pure silk, like if I even dared to touch it, it would rip into shreds. His shoes were recently polished, but I would not be surprised if they got polished everyday. Not only that, but his hair was absolutely perfect, not a strand out of place and his smile was relaxed, or so it seemed. He stood up and stuck his hand to greet me.

"Hello, Lily, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." He flashed me that smile of his, which I knew would have probably been the first thing that my mother fell for. I smiled back, trying to look as happy as he did, he was shaking my hand longer than I would have liked. After he did stop, I headed towards an empty seat next to my mom and sat down. At the very moment I did so, the servants came in with trays filled with different types of food. They set it in front of us and we all started to eat.

Dinner, as well, was a quiet affair. Not a sound was heard except for the scraping of spoons and forks on the plates. There would be times when I would look up to see Petunia glaring at me, but I pretended not to notice. My mom seemed to busy but to do anything but to look at her charming husband. If anyone was to talk at all, it would have been her, but she was obviously busy. So dinner passed by for me a lot more quickly then I had anticipated. So I excused myself and headed up to my room, trying to avoid everyone in the house.

It was nice to just be able to be alone for a while. I immediately changed into my pajamas and headed to bed. I wasn't in the mood to stay up and think about anything tonight, I refused to think of anything tonight. Too much had happened to make me want to. So I fell asleep after about a half an hour trying, dreamless and uneventful. The kind of sleep that makes one feel groggy and even more tired when they wake up, like they haven't slept at all.

That was until I could distantly hear someone in my room. I wasn't fully awake, but I knew that someone was there. I shot up as quickly as I could to see who it could be. I wasn't tired, but I was fully awake.

And that was when I noticed that someone was leering over my bed looking directly at me, I didn't know why I hadn't seen him before, but whoever he was didn't look extremely inviting so I opened my mouth to start screaming when he put his hand over mine to muffle it.

"Shh… We don't want anyone to hear us, now do we?" It was then that I realized that this person wasn't a death eater coming to get me, now, his voice wasn't right. It was instead my stepfather. He didn't look as nice as he did before, if anything he looked menacing and scary. His hair was disheveled and he wasn't wearing a shirt. He didn't look the same at all. He climbed on to my bed making his way on top of me while his hand was still on my mouth. "You won't say a word to this to anyone, you hear? You won't scream when I remove my hand from your mouth, and if you do, you will die. Do I make myself clear?"

I nodded, too scared to do anything else. He removed his hand from my mouth and smiled when I didn't scream. He was still on top of me, and that was when I realized that it was getting hard for me to breath. But he didn't care; he started kissing me, not helping at all with the situation. He kissed hard, too hard, making it hard for me to do anything. When he finally did stop he would groan softly and start kissing down my neck and stroking my body. I closed my eyes, trying to just concentrate on breathing, but then he would kiss me again and my concentration would be lost. His hands made their way up my shirt and under my bra cupping my breasts, he stopped and get off of me making me breath a little more than I could before, but it wasn't a good thing. He took my shirt off and unclasped my bra and starting kissing me all over again, but down my body, in everywhere possible, and still groaning. He made is way down to the hem of my shorts, and looked up to me evilly, the look on my face probably made him feel even better because he didn't hesitate when taking those off as well. He proceeded to take his pants off and made his way back on top of me and placing his hips right on top of mine.

"Remember what I said, Lily… no screaming." I couldn't scream, I was absolutely terrorized, and even if I did have the nerve to scream, I would have never been able to because he became even more fierce kissing me, pushing me into my bed. But what I felt was the worst, it hurt beyond any measures. He didn't care, he was having his fun and then, it was over. He let go of me, quietly put his clothes on and starting leaving the room like nothing ever happened. When he reached the door, he looked back and me and smiled, "Remember, Lily… nothing happened."

*-*

**James POV**

I was completely in denial. I had acted out of instinct; I didn't mean to say what I did… I was mad. It was one of the reasons that I felt so bad right now. I was trying to get her to talk to me, and I was the one that ended up exploding. It was around midnight, and I was in bed, staring and lost in my own world. But the one part of me couldn't deny that I was right. The concept that I had been right instead of Lily Evans should have made me feel… proud, yet I couldn't deny the fact that I didn't want to be right. The one time that I didn't want to show up to Lily Evans was the one time that I proved her wrong, and it didn't feel right. If I could I would have gone back to her and begged for forgiveness, I would have done anything to get her back. But yet, I was here, on my bed in the middle of the night, doing absolutely nothing.

This was not going to be the best summer; just the way that it had been shaping for the last couple of days just proved that I would be happy to return to school. A concept that James Potter would not have ever heard of until now. I wanted everything to return to normal. The Marauders, playing pranks, asking Lily out, getting rejected, and being the hottest guy in school. It was the way that my life was supposed to be for me; normal and perfect. I was meant to marry some really pretty, blond haired, blue eyed girl who was probably stupid and had married me for my money. But of course, that was not the way that it had worked for me. Instead I fall in love with the red haired, green eyed smart ass of our school who just happens to hate my guts. Life doesn't get any better for me, really.

That was what I was thinking about until someone knocked on the door. It was the slightest knock, but I heard it and it knocked me out of my thoughts instantly. I jumped off of my bed feeling surprisingly energetic. I went to the door to find Cherry standing there, looking just as energetic as I did, but alarmed at the same time.

"Master Potter!!" She whispered urgently. "Someone is at the door, I do not know who, sir. But someone is there."

Only Cherry would disturb me at night because I was the only one that wouldn't yell at her for doing so. So I grabbed my wand, even though I was underage and headed towards the door. I had no idea who would want to knock on the door of Potter mansion in the middle of the night. I ran up to the door and opened it with my wand behind my back… to see Lily Evans standing there. Me, being well, me noticed that she was in pretty short shorts and a shirt that was shorter than she usually wears. Her hair was down; a little messy but it still looked nice.

In other words, Lily looked hot right now… until I registered that she was crying. She had obviously not expected to see me either because when she did see me she jumped and started frantically wiping her eyes.

"Lily…? Are you okay?" I asked. Nice one, James. Just state the obvious, why don't you?

"Where's Cassie?"

"Sleeping…"

"Oh…" Lily knew probably even better than I did that waking Cassie up in the middle of the night was almost as impossible as waking Sirius up. She turned around to leave still wiping her eyes.

"If you really need her, I can wake her up. I don't think that she'll mind… that much."

"It can wait until the morning…" She said in a small voice.

"Lily, if you came here in the middle of the night to talk to my cousin, then I'm pretty sure that it can't wait." I looked at her. "Come on, I'll take you to her."

I moved aside and let her in, she followed, looking anxious. The only problem arouse when I remembered that I was supposed to be waking up my cousin. Which, like I said before, is close to impossible. She refuses to wake up unless it's after noon. So I had to figure out a way to wake her up without her killing me. This is not as easy as it sounds. So as I made my way in the general direction of her room with Lily sniffling behind me, I made my decision to wake her up gently instead of the usual jumping up and down on her bed.

"James?" I jumped before I turned around, Lily Evans had just called me by my first name… we're reaching milestones here, people. But I was being ADD… again.

"Yes?"

"Can I just talk to you instead?" I just stared; I almost wanted to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. This was another phenomenon in one night; it seemed way to good to be true. That urge to pinch myself became even greater. "James?" She called me by my name again. Even if this was a dream, I didn't want to wake up anytime soon.

"Uhh… yea, you can talk to me." I said. She probably looked as surprised as I had just felt, but she followed me to my room nevertheless, not that anyone is getting any dirty ideas or anything, but besides those, I shut the door to my room so that no one would wake up if we started yelling.

"Soo…" She sniffled and sat on my very messy bed; the chair was occupied by a clutter of clothes and sort, so I threw those on the ground and sat on it.

"James, whatever I say to you, has to stay in this room, if he finds out that I told you… or anyone, he'll kill me." That caught my attention. How was it that death eaters had gotten to her, but not to me? She was just next door, and I still couldn't protect her. I nodded signaling her to go on, I tried to look as indifferent as I could, but I wasn't sure how long I would last. "It wasn't a wizard." She said as though she was reading my mind. "I barely know him, actually"

"Who was it?" I asked. I was about ready to kill this guy.

She hesitated. "Robert… you know that guy that my mom married- my stepfather."

That was surprising, he had always struck me as being a nice guy…

She continued, "I was sleeping, and then I woke up and he was right there… he was so close." She was whispering, without even knowing what I was doing, I made my way up to her and hugged her. She started crying all over again. It couldn't have been that bad, she wasn't hurt… well, physically, anyways.

"James-… he raped me." Okay, maybe it was bad. This was even worse, the thought hadn't even occurred to me.

"I'm going to-", I started.

"No! Don't! James, he made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone! He'll kill me! I'm getting so good at not keeping secrets these days…" she tried to smile, it didn't work so well. "I just needed to be with someone…" She yawned.

"You need to sleep… here, take my bed; I'm not going to be able to go to sleep anyways."

"Are you sure?" Her voice sounded strong, but she was tired, her body looked like it.

"No, its okay, I'll be okay… you go to sleep." She lay down and was asleep in less than a minute.

*-*

**Lily POV**

I woke up in a totally different place… again. The sun poured on the bed almost as though it was trying to wake me up. But something felt different… I felt… happy… whole even. And even though I didn't know where I was, I didn't want to get up to find out where I was exactly. Until everything hit me all at once, mom, Petunia glaring at me, Robert sneaking into my room, me running to talk to Cassie, and instead finding-… James… I had fallen asleep in his room.

I sat up quickly and looked around. James had fallen asleep in the same chair that he had been sitting in before… before he hugged me anyways. He had been so… nice last night. Something that had not existed before, or so I thought… I turned to look at the clock. It was eight, I had time to go home and still be unnoticed, but I would I have to leave now.

I didn't want to wake him up; he looked so peaceful, but I had to thank him… somehow. Quickly, I walked over to him,

"Thanks for listening, James," I whispered, and I kissed him on the cheek before I left.

***-***

**A/N: AWWW!!! How cute!! Wasn't that just adorable?! I really liked writing this chapter… well except for the whole rape thing, that was a bit uncomfortable… but I liked have Lily and James actually talk, I was waiting for this chapter just as much as many of you were!!**

**So, tell me that you liked it… review!!!!**

**Or if you didn't like it… then review anyways!!!!**

**Please **

**amnazing**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**James POV**

"James!!! Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I woke up with a start and fell and the sound of Sirius's voice singing my room. I got up and found him looking at my bed with a puzzled expression on his face. Lily was gone, I hadn't noticed her leave. "Why are you sleeping in a chair?"

"I dunno, I must have fallen asleep while reading," I pointed to the book that was on my desk. I failed to mention that it was turned to the first page, but he didn't notice.

"That's why I think that studying is pointless; falling asleep while studying doesn't help you at all." I shrugged.

"Is Cassie awake?"

"How would I know?"

"Because you worship her."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too"

"Do not"

"Do too."

"Do not"

"Do- Just admit it, Sirius."

"Do not- No! I don't worship her at all!"

"Then you can at least admit that you like her." Sirius blushed; this was a first… interesting. I was going to inquire on this phenomenon further when the girl in question walked into my room, without knocking, of course. "Good morning, Cassie" I said politely.

She looked at me strangely. "Good morning...?" She was still giving me that look.

"How was your night?"

"Fine, I guess… How was yours?"

"Good!! Very good, actually. I barely got any sleep… darn studying…"

"Oh… that explains why you're acting the way that you are."

"I'm not acting any different than I usually do!!" I insisted. Cassie laughed.

"You're so going to die by noon."

"I'M NOT ACTING ANY DIFFERENT!!!"

"Yes, you are," Cassie persisted. "And it's not only this morning… why were _you _studying in the middle of the night? What ever happened to 'I need my beauty sleep'?"

"Studying is important if you want to succeed in life." I said.

"Since when have you wanted to succeed in life?"

"Since last night"

"And what brought on this revelation?" Umm…

"I saw the book sitting on my desk and I got interesting… is that a problem?"

"No… I guess not…" I walked out of the room leaving a dumbfounded Cassie and Sirius, who probably hadn't even noticed because he was staring at Cassie in awe.

**Cassie POV (A/N YAY!!! I've wanted to do her POV for such a long time, but I couldn't find the opportune moment…) **

James left with me staring at him, something was going on, but I decided that it was because of this lack of sleep and let it go.

I turned around to find Sirius sitting on James' bed staring in my general direction… awkward…

"Umm… Black?" I approached him cautiously. "Heeelllllllooooooo?" I waved my hand in front of his eyes. "Is anyone in there?"

He stared ahead in complete daze. He looked like he was asleep, except for the fact that his eyes were open… this was scaring me. So I thought of a way to snap him out of it.

"SIRIUS BLACK I LOVE YOU!! I THINK THAT WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES!!!!"

Sirius jumped "Really?"

But I had already left the room laughing my ass off.

**Lily POV**

I made it home with plenty of time to spare. No one had even moved after I left, everything looked the same. The desk, the floor, the bed… the bed, it carried memories that I did not want to remember. I reminded myself to wash it the first moment that I got. I couldn't stay in this room any longer; this room had looked so comforting before, now, it just looked menacing. So I went into my bathroom and started taking a shower, in hope that maybe, just maybe the events from last night would just wash down the drain. If only memories could be washed away as easily as water, maybe I could live a more normal life. Maybe I could be a better friend; maybe I wouldn't be so emotionally distraught. Every part of me has been injured in some way, my father is dead, I was tortured endlessly for the longest time, and I was just recently raped. Welcome to my life, everyone! These were my thoughts as I took my shower. The water was so hot that I thought that my skin would burn off, but I didn't turn it off, I didn't step out of the water. It felt good. I sighed. I was definitely about to cry, the tears brimmed in my eyes, and I tried to convince myself that life was good, and that I would get over every part of it.

So, I focused my attention on something else. Something that would make me feel a little better. Just get my mind off of my life, the wonderful hell I get to live everyday. So what is it that I focused on? The bathroom that I was in. I guess that it isn't something exciting unless you have never really looked at yours. It was black and white, I realized. The artistic side of my mother was still there, it looked like. At least there was some evidence that she's still the same person that I once knew. The sink also had an artistic look to it; it was shaped as a tulip, a white tulip. One could be staring at it and totally forget to wash their hands because it was so intriguing, every detail was put into it… which obviously meant that every dollar was put into it, that sink could have probably paid off all of the debts that my dad had accumulated, and he was a lawyer.

This was obviously not working, my thought process was literally cursing me, so I quickly washed myself off and came out of the bathroom and changed into a cozy pair of jeans which were from some French brand that I had never heard of, and a nice J. Crew sweater. I took my time sorting through my wardrobe… a walk in closet actually. It contained everything that I would ever need to wear, every occasion, everyday. I could probably wear a different outfit everyday! I walked out of my closet feeling much better about my life. Everything seemed to be much better. I walked out of my room not even looking at the menacing box spring in the corner (it was actually a water bed, but still, you know what I mean) and ran right into Abigail… and fell… again. She looked ashamed to have not noticed that I was there and started to apologize immediately.

"Miss Evans! I am so very sorry that I did not notice you, forgive me, please forgive me!" She actually got down on her knees to beg for forgiveness. I looked at her as I got up.

"Are you supposed to do that?" I asked.

"Excuse me, Miss?" She looked confused.

"Are you supposed to beg for forgiveness like that?"

I had just noticed that she had tears in her eyes. "Miss Evans, please, do not wait, you can punish me now. I am used to it by now." I stared at her in shock. "Please, Miss Evans! I have had a good day, please, don't make this a memory that I will not forget."

"I am not going to whip you, Abigail. I just wanted to know if you had to beg for forgiveness like that. And if you do, don't do it again. The last thing I need is my only friend in this household to think that she's less than me." She started crying and I hugged her. I could hear her mumbling thanks, and I didn't say anything. When she pulled away I got the courage to ask her something. "Abigail, this person… who tortures you, who is it?"

"I cannot tell you , Miss Evans." Abigail said with a straight face.

"Please, Abigail, I can help. I can!" and in an even lower whisper "Was it Robert?"

She whimpered when I said the name. "Miss Evans! You mustn't tell anyone! He will kill me if he finds out that you know!" Well, this sounds familiar.

"I won't tell a soul, Abigail. I promise." She heard a distant cry of her name and stood up.

"I must go…" she left without another word. I sighed and turned around to head down the stairs. I ran into Petunia who was talking animatedly on the phone and by the crude comments that she was whispering I concluded that she was either talking to Vernon or cheating on him... it was possible. She pretended not to notice me and I did the same as we passed each other on the stairs. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw my mother, already pampered sitting on one of the leather recliners reading a magazine. She looked extremely intrigued, and when I saw the cover I knew why. _121 ways to look good in bed, _don't worry mom, Robert will love you anyways… whatever "love" may be.

I tried to be as discreet as possible and sneak out of the house, but a slight creak in the floor boards gave me away and she looked up at me, a smile lighting up her face.

"Lily! You're awake!" she got up to hug me as though surviving my first night in this house was some sort of feat that I had accomplished. I guess it was… too bad I didn't last.

"Yes, I am in fact awake." She was still smiling as she leaned into my ear to whisper,

"You know, Robert was very nervous when he found out that he was going to meet you, but I think that he likes you! You behaved so well in front of him." I almost choked when she said that. She smiled as she looked up.

"Oh! Robert! There you are!" I reluctantly turned around and gave my fake smile as Robert walked into a room while talking on the phone.

"No, Neebie I strongly suggest that we not schedule that meeting until next week, Joseph won't get back until Friday… No, I have to hold a conference on Tuesday… Yes, Wednesday is perfect. Thanks… yes, we'll see you tonight. Okay… bye." He hung up and looked over at us.

"You did tell the chefs that Neebie was coming for dinner, right?" my mother nodded.

"Of course! The menu is ready and the chefs should start cooking soon."

"Ahh… Lily!" he said as he focused his attention towards me. "You're awake! You slept well, I trust?"

"Exceptionally well, Robert. I really like the bed." I said politely.

"No sleep talking, I hope…" was that evil grin on his face a hallucination?

"I don't sleep talk!" My mother nodded.

"Well, that's good to hear. Well, I must be getting to work," He walked over to my mother and kissed and kissed me on the cheek longer than I would have liked.

"Mom," I said loudly, before he could leave, "I forgot to ask you, but Cassie asked if I could sleep over tonight, would it be alright?" he turned around to look at my mom.

"Of course, it is, Lily! Why don't you stay the whole weekend, since you haven't seen her in the longest time…" Robert remained stoic.

"Okay!"

"Isn't it great how Lily is such good friends with the Potters, Robert?"

"It's great," he said and he walked out of the house, slamming the door harder than I would have liked.

It was then that I realized that I may have lucked out this weekend, but when I got back, I was in for it.

**James POV  
**

It was noon and I was dead. It was literally a struggle to keep my head up. My eyelids were another story. They had closed a long time ago. So basically I looked like a zombie, and Cassie was having a blast. She would randomly poke me in the side (IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M TICKLISH!) and I would jump… with my eyes closed of course. Cassie's laughter never ceased. That was probably another reason that I wasn't falling asleep. Her laughter could prevent a baby from going to sleep. Walking to my room was out of question, I couldn't even keep my eyes open! She was going to get it, I assure you she was, but then her laughter stopped… she screamed instead. I jumped higher than I would have when she poked me… and my eyes flew open.

"LILY!!!!!!!!" She got off of her chair and ran to calm Lily Evans. She looked much better than I did, that was for sure… "OMG, you have to come here, James got, like, no sleep last night, and now he can barely sit up." A look of surprise flashed across Lily's face and was quickly replaced by her normal look.

"You didn't sleep last night, Potter?" she asked, almost curiously.

"No, I did, it was just that damn studying that I had to do. It was quite time consuming, you see." She was trying to stop herself from smiling.

"Studying is important, but you should sleep, it's just as important as studying."

Cassie intervened, "But it's the fact that he was studying that's puzzling me."

"Is it wrong that James is growing up, Cassie?" Lily inquired.

But Cassie didn't have to answer that question.

"Did you just call him James?!" Lily blushed at realizing that she had "You just called him James! What's wrong with everyone today?!" She looked angry, but Lily changed the topic of conversation very quickly.

"I forgot to tell you! My mum said that I could stay over the weekend!!" Cassie's frown was quickly changed to a smile.

"YAY!!!! I'm going to go tell mum right now." She turned to me, "Is there anymore floo powder left?" I nodded as I started to drift off again. Cassie left the room as quickly as her mood changes. I closed my eyes in attempt to go back to sleep. It was quiet enough to do so, but then I felt a hand on my cheek. It was hesitant and delicate; instinctively I grabbed it and held it there. Its owner froze. I opened my eyes to find Lily looking at me. Wow… Lily Evans was touching me… it was a dream come true.

"Why didn't you sleep last night, James?" She whispered.

"I was a bit occupied in case you haven't noticed."

"But it doesn't mean that you don't sleep… just because of me, I'm not worth-"

"Never say that you're not worth it," I interrupted without thinking. "I don't deny not being able to sleep, Lily. And you shouldn't worry about it." My eyes were closing again… I didn't want them to.

"You need to get to bed… come on…" She helped me get up.

"No… I don't wanna sleep, Lily… I wanna stay with you…"

"I'm still here, James…"

And that was the last thing I heard before I drifted off into a sleep centering around a certain red head.

**A/N:**

**Chapter 13 is done!! *cheers* YAY!**

**Now, review… and I may consider posting the next chapter…. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!**

**JK…**

**Just review O:) **

**~amnazing**


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is devoted to one of the first people to help me with this story, and help me to actually continue with it… Thanks Neebie! **

Chapter 14

**James POV**

_"James! James, wake up!" someone whispered next to me, I pretended to be asleep. "James, come on, I know that you're awake." _

_I stayed completely still, smiling ever so slightly. _

_"James Potter! Stop it!" but you could hear the smile in her voice. She sighed, "Really, it's important."_

_I refused to wake up, and she noticed. She lay back down and left me alone for a while, and I had thought that she was asleep. The thought that she would give up so easily did not occur to me, so I drifted off. So when she started kissing me, not only did it take me by surprise, I started kissing her back… out of instinct. She pulled back a bit too soon for my liking. _

_"Ha, I knew you were awake…" she sounded triumphant. I opened my eyes to look at her; she looked perfect, as usual. She was sitting on the bed in a bath robe, looking at me. She had a glint in her eyes that could only mean that she had something really exciting to tell me. _

_"I hate when you do that…" I said as I sat up. She smiled even wider, and started playing with the ring on her finger. _

_"I told you that it was important…" _

_"And are you going to tell me?" _

_"Do you want to know?" she started fiddling with her ring a bit more vigorously. The gleam in her eyes had vanished. _

_"Yes, Lily, I do…" _

_"Maybe you should go back to sleep, I'll tell you when you wake up…" _

_"Lily…" she sighed._

_"Fine." _

_"It is good news, right?"_

_"Yes! It is!" the gleam returned. _

_"Then, why can't you tell me?" I pouted. _

_She hesitated, "It's kind of hard to tell you…"_

_"Lily, just say it…"_

_She took a deep breath, "James… I'm pregnant."_

"James!" I woke up with a start expecting Lily Evans- Lily Potter smiling down at me. Instead I found myself looking at my cousin instead. She gave me another funny look; I was getting a lot of those lately. "It's time for dinner." She turned to leave the room, but then turned around to look at me. She had a smirk on her face. "Try not to make your dreams of Lily so… obvious, next time." She left

I groaned and lay back down. I didn't want to know what embarrassing act Cassie had caught me doing… especially in that dream. It seemed so… real that I must have been acting it out in one way….or another. No, I most definitely did not want to know. It was a nice dream, I had to admit. I couldn't help but wish that it could be real. I reluctantly got up and left the comfort of my room and headed towards the dining room. I found everyone there already sitting and waiting for me. Dinner was being served by the elves. I quickly took my seat next to my father and Sirius.

"James, my boy!" my father beamed as I sat down. I acknowledged my father's presence and sat down anxious to eat dinner. "So I hear that you were studying last night?" I heard Lily and Cassie giggle when he said this.

"Yes, I was…" I said after sending a death glare towards my cousin and her best friend.

"So, what did you read?" Shoot… I was hoping that no one would ask me. Lily stopped giggling to listen.

"Oh… you know… stuff…" My father stared.

"What subject was it?"

"Transfig-"

"Potions, actually." Lily interrupted, she beamed, "We have Potions essays that we have to complete before the school year starts, and he was reading the book."

"How do you know?" Sirius inquired, "Why do you care?"

Lily put on her innocent face, "Well, I just assumed, unless you were reading something else…." She ignored Sirius' last question.

"No…" I said, "I was getting ready for those essays."

"You just had to remind me of those essays, didn't you? Now, I lost my appetite." Sirius grumbled, but he ate nevertheless. I noticed Cassie giving Lily a weird look, but she ignored her.

So, we started eating.

"So Lily," My mom asked, "What do you think of your new home?"

Lily looked up and smiled, "I like it! It's so big! And my room, it's absolutely great!" she beamed.

"What do you think of your wardrobe? Your mom and I went shopping especially for you."

"I love it!" she smiled.

"It's good to know that you're fitting in so well." She beamed.

"What do you think of your stepfather?" the smiled faltered a bit, but I think that I was the only one to notice.

"Robert is really… nice."

"It's hard to have another father, isn't it?"

"It is."

"Robert isn't bad," Cassie said. "I'd like to have him as a stepfather," and after quickly glancing at her uncle, "if I was put in that situation, that is."

"You don't know that, Cassie, he may be some one else when he's at home… alone." I said.

"What do you mean by that?" Mom asked.

"I'm just saying, you can't know what a person is like until you get to know him." I said without looking up. I could feel Lily's gaze on me.

"That's true… I guess…" Cassie said.

**Lily POV**

It was as though James and I had some invisible truce, we held the same secret, and we both felt compelled that no one else deserved to know. Cassie was suspicious; she didn't believe that James would be "reading" in the middle of night. I wouldn't believe him if he told me that he had been reading. I had been hoping that somehow people would think that if Lily can believe that James was doing something productive, than he may have been actually doing it. This was the reason that I was walking in the middle of the night in the backyard. No one knew that I was out here, but I found the cool air and quietness calming. I needed to think.

Dinner today was almost something that I would have rather forgotten. Not telling your mom that you snuck out with your friend is one thing, but not telling anyone that you were… raped, was another. The thoughts of what had happened to me when was captured did not help me either. The dark, damp nights, being tortured everyday. I couldn't bear to think about it. But I had to, if there was anytime that I was going to think about it, it would have to be now.

I sighed and started walking some more, trying to thing of absolutely nothing at all. I tried to focus on the fact that there were a few lights on in my house, I could barely see them, but they were there. I wondered what everyone was doing, but I had a feeling that I didn't want to know. For some strange reason I felt the same way that I had felt when I was captured. Like there was a light shining somewhere, light that symbolized hope, but even that light could be deceiving. Light can mean a new beginning, a new start, but to me, light was not something that I looked forward to.

Light was what took me away from the comfort of the dreams that took me away from reality every morning. Light was what greeted me whenever a death eater came to take me away. It was dark when I was rescued from that place. Darkness was that place where I could hide; I could pretend that nothing had happened. And in the morning, no one would know because it was hidden. The light seemed so… revealing sometimes.

And it was with this that all of these memories flooded back to me. His high pitched laugh, the screaming… that I realized belonged to me, and the diminishing hope that greeted me everyday, that I somehow knew that he wasn't going to ask me forever. One day he was going to get bored and decide that I knew too much… and kill me. All of the faith that I had put into a hero rescuing me, and he never came. Instead I got stuck with Sirius Black's brother, not exactly a girl's dream hero. I imagined someone who would be really handsome with hazel eyes… and black hair, jet black hair. He would always be there for me, in ways more than just ones where I needed to be rescued. But for other reasons than that, I just needed him to listen to me. He would be perfect… absolutely perfect.

I realized just then that I was in fact imagining James Potter, and I quickly erased those thoughts. When had I ever thought that I, Lily Evans, would think of Potter in that way? It just wasn't possible! I couldn't be falling for James Potter… could I?

I groaned and sat down on the lush grass. The sky was clear and the moon shown beautifully on the lawn. It was almost like one of those nights where you wish you were somewhere there was no life for miles and you could just lay here, for days on end, and feel at peace.

"Too bad that can't happen," I said out loud without realizing it.

"What can't happen?" I jumped and turned around to find none other than James Potter standing behind me. For some reason I didn't mind, almost as though, unconsciously I had been waiting for him.

"I wish that I could just be alone for a few days to just dwell on life."

He smiled, "One night isn't enough?"

"With the hell of my life? I think that I'd need a whole new lifetime." He sat down next to me

"You're strong; I think that you'll get over it sooner than you think."

"I'll need something big to get over it, James… no one just 'forgets' that they were just raped."

"True… but you've been through what many people would have considered traumatizing, and yet, you're here… and smiling nevertheless." I stared at him. "Well, you were smiling… this evening."

"That's the act, James. I can't act depressed, Cassie would see through me in a heartbeat. Actually, I'm surprised that she hasn't seen through me yet."

"You're better at acting than you give yourself credit for."

"Well, I'm better than you… You were 'reading' in the middle of the night?"

"The book was the first thing that I saw!"

"Honestly, James…" but I was smiling nevertheless.

"I think that a thank you is in order," He said.

"Thank you… for listening… for being there for me when I really needed someone." I couldn't tell in the darkness, but I almost thought, that for just a second, James Potter blushed.

"You'll have to do better than that…"

"What? How?"

"I'm James Potter…" I still stared. He sighed, "I never denied that I was selfish and obnoxious, Lily."

"And your point is?"

"I need something more than just a thank you." Why? Why, now of all times was I starting to think like a pervert?

"What do you want?" I asked trying not to show the fear in my voice.

"I want to be your friend… again." I let out a sigh of relief.

"That's it?"

He stared, "Yea… Were you expecting something else?"

"Yea… but it's not important… Friendship, I can give." I smiled.

"What were you thinking of?" He looked puzzled.

"It's not important," I repeated. He shrugged as I stood up, it was getting late. "We should head inside." I said while yawning.

He got up and started heading inside with me. When we were about to go separate ways, he stopped me.

"How will I know that this was not all a dream?"

I laughed, "Because I'll think that I had a nightmare."

"Very funny."

"Trust me, you won't forget." I said, "Good night, James." I walked away.

"Good night…"

*~*

Before I knew it, the weekend was over and I found myself standing on my front porch with my bags. _Welcome home, Lily… _I sighed and walked into the house.

"And I would like you to know, Mr. Stewart that I will in fact have all of your work done before you sit down tomorrow morning." I heard a woman's voice as I entered the house. She was professionally dressed in a tailored suit and her dark hair was up in a bun. She was about two feet shorter than Robert, even though she was wearing heels. She was all business… she probably had no life whatsoever either.

"Thank you, Neebie, I really appreciate it," He smiled his winning smile and looked up to see me, "Oh, Lily! You're back! I'd like you to meet Neebie. Neebie, this is my step daughter, Lily."

She nodded, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Stewart."

"Miss Evans," I corrected. "My name is Miss Evans."

Neebie looked at her boss peculiarly and then at me, "Very well, then, Miss Evans, it is nice to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well." I said politely.

"Now, you can't say no to dinner this time, Neebie. The family is together, we would love to share the moment with you." She hesitated, I could tell that she was wondering how late she was going to be staying up while doing the work that my father had told her to do.

"I may stay… for a little while, anyways." She forced a stiff smile and followed Robert to sit in the living room. I had no choice but to follow her, my luggage had mysteriously disappeared; I assumed that someone had already taken it upstairs. We sat on the white leather couch awkwardly. Neebie and Robert discussed some business issues and I sat there waiting for the world to engulf me.

"So, Miss Evans, where do you go to school?"

"Enough of these formalities, Neebie, you can just call her Lily."

"Very well then, Lily," She obviously did not like to be corrected.

"I go to a private school," I had been used to lying in front of Petunia's friends on where I went to school.

"Do you have any friends there?"

"Yes, I have many friends," she looked at me as though she didn't believe me. Do I look like I don't have many friends?

"Actually, Lily just spent the whole weekend at our neighbor's house; maybe you know them, Neebie… the Potters?" Neebie shot me a look, but quickly hid it. Was that jealousy I sensed?

"I have heard of the Potters… they have a son?" she sighed. Neebie could not have been older than 22 years old. She just acted older than she really was.

"They do have a son, he's Lily's age, actually." Another death glare was shot my way.

"Oh, really? That's… nice." Neebie said. And then a little boldly, "How well do you know him?"

She was glaring at me; she had the glare that could kill someone, but I was ready to make the best of this situation, "Oh, James?" I said dreamily, "He's so nice… and he's always there for me… Should I mention the lovely walk we had in the middle of the night?" I smiled politely.

She smiled back… almost angelically. "That's so nice to hear…"

"Lily! You're home!" My mom ran in the room and engulfed me in a hug. "Oh! I see that you've met Neebie, isn't she just a dear?"

"She's great!" I said, smiling at both of them.

"Oh! I'm so glad that you two are getting along so well! You two are so close in age, that I just knew that you two were going to friends."

"Oh, really?" I asked, "How old are you, Neebie?"

"She's 18…" Robert said.

"You haven't gone to college?" I asked her.

"I'm Mr. Stewart's intern."

"Oh…"

"Well, enough of this! Let us sit in the dining hall, Petunia will be joining us shortly… she just wanted to say good bye to Vernon. That reminds me, Lily! You have to get fitted for your bridesmaid dress! But we'll talk about that later." My mom said as she led all of us to the dining room. I found myself sitting next to an empty chair… Petunia would be sitting next to me… joyous. She walked in looking happier than usual, until she saw the empty seat next to me. She sat next to me without even giving me a single glance. I sighed and waited for the servers to come with the food. My mom rambled on about something that I didn't care about, but the food came nevertheless.

We ate silently most of the time, someone would comment on something and there would be some conversation, but it would die.

That would be the case until dessert arrived. Ice cream… yummy. I love ice cream! I was nearly jumping up and down in my seat while I was being served. It didn't matter which flavor it was, I just love ice cream! My mom decided to start talking again, one thing had not changed, my mom still did not like eating fattening foods.

"So, Neebie, how do you like working with Robert? I'm sure that he's a fine employer." My mom smiled at her husband.

"He keeps me busy," Neebie said while taking a sip of water.

"Oh, but you must have something to do in your free time! You don't work all day, do you?"

"Oh, no! I have friends. I'm actually going to see my boyfriend after I finish here." Neebie said with a smug look on her face.

"Your boyfriend? How cute! Do we know him?"

"I think you mentioned him… James Potter?" She looked at me and smirked. I froze… this ice cream didn't taste good anymore.

**A/N:**

**Happy New Year, my fellow readers! I hope that 2009 brings all of you happiness joyful memories! **

**And my present to all of you? A cliff hanger! **

**Isn't that just great? **

**~amnazing**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Sirius POV (The conflict begins)

It was the way that she twirled her hair around her finger unconsciously, the way that her foot tapped against the ground, the way that her eyes would light up when something happened the exact way she wanted it to, her timid smile when she found something funny that should have been taken seriously. The way she glared at me when she was angry, or how she looked at James with the smug look on her face made me love her even more.

It was embarrassing to be in love with your best friend's cousin. Cassandra was more than a cousin to James; she was the sister that he never had… and she still hated me. That didn't really help matters much. I would have normally given up by now, but for some reason with her, I couldn't. I tried to find someone else, but I would always find myself comparing her with Cassie. She was perfect.

I was currently spying on this particular angel while she was reading some romance novel. She was sitting in the hammock that had been put just for that purpose. It was amusing to watch her as she enjoyed herself. She dreamed of the perfect guy, wasn't I the perfect person? Even I couldn't deny that I was incredibly good looking… more than just good looking. I was a sexy beast. What more could she want? I decided to elaborate on this and went to find James.

He was in his room as well, staring out the window. Peculiar, James' window didn't face the Stewart mansion. I peeked behind his shoulder and saw that he was staring at… his backyard.

"Whatcha lookin at?" I asked. He jumped about a mile.

"The backyard, Sirius, have you gone blind?" James said.

"So, you are looking at the backyard," James stared at me.

"That's what it looks like… I think."

"Anyways, let's talk about something else…"

"What?"

"Me."

"That's better?"

"But of course!"

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Tell me the truth…am I perfect?"

"You, my friend, are as perfect as they get. "

"I knew it!!! Then why does your cousin hate me?" he stared.

"Because you're perfect."

"That makes no sense." I said.

"Have you seen any of those books she reads? The guys are not perfect; Elizabeth Bennet only falls in love with Mr. Darcy until after he admits his mistake. She likes a guy who can admit that he's wrong. You don't do that Sirius."

"Do too!"

"Really? When?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Well, there was that time… you know… when I did that thing… and I admitted I was wrong…" James stared.

"You mean that there wasn't a time."

"Shut up," I mumbled and walked out of his room, my ego deflated.

Lily POV

I should have known; it was a fact of life for me now. Just when life was getting good for me… well, as good as life can get for me, another bomb shell totally ruins it. I hated it, I just wanted life to be predictable and perfect, but that wouldn't happen, not now. It was almost as though my father's death was a curse, that right after it happened, my life would turn into a complete and utter hell.

I could only hide so much. It was one of those things that you want to tell the whole world so that they can all empathize. Yet, here I am not telling a soul, I can't tell anyone. What would they say? You didn't know that James Potter had a girlfriend, so what? He's always going out with someone; do you wish that it was you instead? I thought that we were friends; I thought that he would have told me now. If I told anyone they would accuse me of being jealous.

Just the thought of being jealous didn't even comprehend in my mind. I don't get jealous. So, that was completely out of the question. But was it that I felt?

I don't know. It was all so confusing that I didn't really want to know. I was more afraid that if I did find out what it was that was troubling me would not make me very happy. I sighed and picked up a book to read. I didn't want to be thinking about James Potter at the moment, I wasn't happy with him. It would have been a miracle if I had been happy with him for more than a weekend anyways. The fact that I had not been mad at him was a miracle within itself. It was about time that I was furious with him. Even though I didn't know why I was mad at him.

But I could have found out why that was if I let myself admit that I was completely and irrevocably in love with James Potter, but we wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, now would we?

I sighed and made my way downstairs. It was quiet in the house, even though I knew that everyone was awake. It was only five o' clock. I almost wanted there to be some sort of nuisance to take my mind off of what I was thinking. But of course, whatever I want never really happens, now does it?

Actually, all I really wanted to do was to go over there and tell that stupid git that I hate him and that he deserves to die. But even I wasn't that mean… I didn't want to get myself in more trouble than I was already in. But then again, I couldn't really get in anymore trouble than I already was in, and the last thing that I wanted was to have myself deep in the sea of my troubles more than absolutely necessary. So I decided that I wasn't going to do anything about it, I wasn't in charge of James' life. I'm not going to tell him who he should date. Though I wouldn't mind it if it was… someone who shall remain unnamed.

"Lily!" My mom was walking toward me, almost running, actually. I smiled eager to get my mind off of these unpleasant thoughts. "We need to fit your dress, now! Come follow me."

She took me two flights of stairs and took me into what looked like Petunia's room. Actually I knew that it was Petunia's room seeing as there were pictures of her and Vernon everywhere. That girl did not waste time when she was with her fiancé. My mom clapped her hands and one woman came running towards me out of the bathroom.

"Oh!" she stopped; "She is gorgeous!" she stopped to admire me. I blushed, like I did whenever someone complimented me. She was pretty herself. She was about twenty years old, and she had beautiful curly hair that went down a little past her shoulders. Her eyes were a pretty chocolate brown and she had a smile on her face.

"Of course, she's gorgeous, Susie? She's my daughter! What did you expect?" She was examining my hair as my mom spoke.

"Because Petunia is so pretty…" She mumbled under her breath so I could hear. I suppressed a giggle. "Of course, Mrs. Stewart, Susie will work on Lily and she will have the most beautiful dress that you have ever seen… after the bride of course." She winked at me. I smiled.

"Very good," my mom said a matter of factly, and she left. Susie sighed when she finally left.

"Follow Susie, Miss Lily," She said as she walked into Petunia's closet. This closet was probably bigger than then Petunia's actual room. It was full with clothes of every type. There were shoes of all types; heels, flats, clogs, and flip flops of every possible color. It made me jealous.

"Where's Petunia?"

"Miss Petunia is with her fiancé." I should have known. "Now, we have to get the right color. Mrs. Stewart wants you to wear teal… apparently she think that it will match with Petunia's white dress. But Susie does not like this idea. No, she thinks that Miss Lily should wear green… to match her eyes."

"Green? Green hardly goes with white."

"And teal does? And by the ways, who will care when Miss Lily will look so gorgeous?" I didn't have a response to that. Susie had a lot of nerve to be able to counteract my mother's wishes like that.

"Will mum mind?"

"Why, what Susie says, she will most definitely do. And Mrs. Stewart best not have a problem with it, or Susie will have a problem with her." I was starting to like this girl.

"Okay, do whatever you want, Susie."

"YAY! Stay here." She ran to the back of the room. I could here her going through bags of fabric. She took longer than I had expected she kept on looking through fabric. I almost wanted to go and watch her. Standing here was getting a bit boring. But finally after about fifteen minutes of waiting I finally heard her mumbling towards me with all shades of green stacked in her arms. I couldn't even see her face anymore, there were different fabrics over it, but she made it over to me nevertheless without any fault. It was quite shocking, actually. I did not know that this many shades of green had existed before now. She started immediately comparing different shades and taking notes to see which ones would look the best on me. She did that for about an hour until she narrowed it down to three. One was a mint green, another was a bright green, and the last was a dull green, kind of like a forest green. I personally liked either the bright green or the mint green. If I didn't have to be the center of attention, she too, would have chosen the bright green, but alas, I was not, so the mint green it would be. She started taking measurements, but she wouldn't tell me the exact style that she was planning on using. She said that it wanted to be a surprise.

This was quite frustrating, but I obliged nevertheless and made my way back downstairs. I didn't encounter anyone as I did and decided that I should continue to read that book I had been wanted to read. Even though my earlier tries had failed, I decided that since my mind was not as confuzzled anymore that I would be able to concentrate a little easier. So, I made my way on the far too soft leather sofa and started to read.

James POV

The doorbell rang, I ignored it. I didn't want any visitors, and didn't Mum tell me not to answer the door when she wasn't home?

_Yea… like 5 years ago. _

The intention was clear enough. Not only that, but I didn't really want to talk to anyone.

_Except Lily_

… True… but I highly doubt that she's going to be here. Even though she has come here on her own accord before. Maybe she was coming over to tell me that she was in love with me, and that she couldn't live without me.

I sighed, I would never forgive myself if I didn't answer the door if Lily was at the door. I ran to the door in a frenzy hoping that whoever it was hadn't already left. I took a deep breath…

Here goes nothing… I closed my eyes and I opened the door.

"James! I love you and I can't live without you!" I opened my eyes in shock.

"Oh… hello, Neebie." She smiled. I tried to hide my disappointment. "Weren't you just here… yesterday?"

"What?" she pouted, "Are you sick of me?" Tears were threatening to fall.

"NO! Of course not! Why would you ever think that? I was merely stating fact." That smile returned. There was not evidence of the tears that had just been there about five seconds ago.

"I thought so." She said smugly coming in as I moved aside. "Anyways, I wanted to ask you a question, James."

"A question…" I said.

"Yes, a question." She repeated. "I was at the Stewarts household yesterday."

"I happen to know that."

"I know you know that, but I did meet that bratty daughter that Mrs. Stewart always talks about."

"You had never met Petunia before?" I asked in surprise. She sat down on the couch and I sat down on the one across from her. She didn't like that.

"Not Petunia, silly! Lily!" she said. "She was so snobby yesterday."

"Lily? Snobby?" I asked in disbelief.

"You should have heard that way she talked about you…" That made me feel happier than I should have felt. "She acted like you were her boyfriend! She thinks that she can have whatever boy she wants because she's so pretty… but she can't have you."

"Lily said that?!?" I nearly screamed.

"Isn't it completely absurd? I mean, I knew that you two were friends but-"

I didn't listen to the rest of Neebie's ramble. It was unnecessary. Lily had said, actually implied, that I was her boyfriend. This was the best day of my life.

"… and I think that some people just need to realize that they can't have everything they want… hey… where are your parents?"

"They went shopping. Cassie needed some new robes and Sirius wanted to see this new joke shop they opened in town."

"And you didn't go?" she asked almost seductively."

"Yes," I said sarcastically, "that's exactly why I'm still here."

"Why didn't you go?" She asked while coming to sit next to me.

"Because, I wanted time alone…"

"Oh, James, that's such a likely excuse… you could have been more creative than that." She said as she came yet closer to me. Why did I have a feeling that…

"Oh crap!" I yelled as I realized what she was doing. She jumped.

"What?" she said while looking around, probably expecting my parents.

"Uhh… I have to… tell my parents something."

"Can't it wait?" she pouted.

"Nope, sorry." I said while running out of the house as quickly as I could.

"Why don't you floo to them?" she asked while pointing at the fireplace. "At least let me apparate with you."

"The fireplace is broken," I said in a hurry. "And don't hurt yourself; it's not that far away."

She pouted. "At least kiss me good bye." I sighed and ran up her and kissed her, ending it a bit too quickly for her liking and left.

That was a close one, I thought. I inwardly promised myself that I would never answer the door when my parents weren't home. Lily would understand… I think.

It was then that I realized that I don't really have anywhere to go. No one wants to go robe shopping with Cassie; she's the most indecisive person ever. It's a miracle that both of my parents actually went this time. I thought about sneaking back into my room, but I had a feeling that Neebie was probably already snooping around in there. I reached the end of the driveway and stared at the one that was next to mine. I could go and see Lily… she had come to my house uninvited before… and we _were_ friends.

I headed up her driveway before I could change my mind. The long driveway, however, didn't stop my thoughts from regretting making this decision, but I persisted anyways.

When I did reach the porch, that persistence had dwindled. Not a lot, but enough for me to want to go back. I raised my hand to ring the doorbell, but it just came down. Friends, I thought, we're just friends. And without thinking I rang the doorbell.

The wait was probably the most excruciating.

"Is anyone going to get the door?" I heard someone yell. I heart froze. There was still time to turn around. "Fine, I'll get it." There was a pause and the great white door opened in front of me. Lily stood in front of me looking just as surprised as I was.

"Hello, James." She said. She was holding a book, I noticed. She marked her page and stepped aside for me to come in.

"Hey, Lily." I came in and followed her to the living room. We both sat down.

"Did you come here for a reason?" she looked at me curiously. I froze, and I realized that I had not in fact come here for a reason.

"Not really," I said. "Do I need a reason?"

She smiled, "No… I wasn't exactly doing anything exciting," she said motioning to her book. "But next time, you may not be so lucky."

"Really?" I asked. "And what would you do that would make you so incredibly busy?"

She paused. "I'm sure something will come up." She said, "Homework maybe."

I put my hands to my heart, "Not homework! God forbid that I interrupt you while you're doing homework!"

"It's a hard life," she said while smiling even wider. "School starts in almost a month, James. You may want to get started on it."

"Thanks for reminding me." I said glumly.

"And actually get past page one this time, okay?" She said while picking her nail polish like it was not big deal. "We wouldn't want your family to get the wrong interpretation, now would we?" I scowled.

"I'll start it." I said while pouting. She looked up and gave me a curious look.

"You know, you look just like a little boy when you pout."

"That's usually the point." I said.

"Yes, it is, but you can actually pull it off." She said, "It's cute."

My heart stopped. "Really?"

"Yes, it reminds me of when we were kids. You were so adorable then." She said as though it were nothing.

"Oh." She went back to picking at her nail polish. "Can I ask you a question?" she looked up.

"So you did come here for a reason!" she said.

"Maybe," I said. She waited patiently. "Yesterday you met Neebie?"

She didn't show any emotion. "Yes, I did."

"She told me that you were acting like I was your boyfriend…"

She smiled. "Really? I wonder what made her think that. Maybe her boyfriend?" she got a bit serious at that last sentence.

"I didn't say anything!"

"No, you didn't tell me…" she said.

"Should I have told you?" I asked gently.

"We are friends, aren't we? Don't I have a right to know who you're going out with?"

"I didn't think that it was important."

"How can you say that your girlfriend isn't important to you?" she asked.

"I didn't know that you would care so much." She blushed. "Would I'm sorry make you feel any better?"

"Maybe…" she mumbled. I came to sit next to her.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and then gave her hug…

And she hugged me back.

**A/N:**

**AWW!!**

**I just love corny-ness!!! Don't you?**

**  
I know, you're all shocked that this isn't a cliff hanger. I thought that I should give all of my reviewers a break. I wasn't exactly happy about this chapter, so I decided that the ending may make up for the boring-ness of it.**

**So, review!! **

**Now!**

**~amnazing **


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